AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I trailed off as a group of kids walk towards the crosswalk and their teacher sent a worried glance my way. I want to leave,but yet, I can’t stop my tirade midstream and so I switch to sign language.
‘You want me to forget you all wanted to tie me up and thenforceme to…serviceyou all?’
He obviously didn’t like my statement because he cut in when I attempted to ask another question. He said with light hand motions, ‘It was a joke, funny…’
‘Funny?’ I signed harshly, very harshly. ‘Was it also a joke when you said your friend said he wanted to see how far he could stick his dick down my throat before I gagged?’
He didn’t have much of a reply but signed, ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Sorry?Sorry?! Sorry doesn’t cut it. Sorry doesn’t make up for the fact that you all were joking,joking, about wanting to gang rape someone. Sorry doesn’t make up for the fact that you took one look at every woman in that place and immediately began imagining what sort of horror you’d like to unleash on them…’ I was well aware we were garnering onlookers as we stood there.
He signed something I didn’t quite catch, I was too busy looking around the crowd to see if any of them were aware of what we were saying, thankfully, none of them did, and so I asked him to repeat himself, which he did.
‘We would never actually do those things,’ he signed to me.
‘Doesn’t matter whether you wouldactuallydo them or not. The simple fact that they’re there in your minds means on some level you’re capable of it and that is sickening. Stay away from me, stay away from Vivian’s, and for your kids’ sakes, stay away from them too,’ I said turning on the heel of my boots, walking away.
I barely made it home before the vomit that had been burning its way up my throat had to be released and afterwards, I sat on the floor thinking how crazy I was. It hadn’t been until I signed to him about the possibility of them doing any of thethings they were “joking” about that I truly realized exactly how scared I’ve been that they’d come back to the club or come after me because of what I’d said to them. How on earth did it come to this?
I’m the girl who’s never scared. Put me on any roller coaster and I’ll be fine. Going down a zipline…no problem. I’ve skydived, parasailed, jet skied, mountain climbed, free fell into a net below me, and even drank the water in Mexico and never once felt so much as a twinge of fear, but the thought of those men doing any of the things they’d signed to each other, that scared the crap out of me, andthatmade me mad.
No one, and certainly no man, should ever have the ability to scare me or make me worry that my safety could be in jeopardy. I refuse to let them, so this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to go down to the club and I’m going to take my life back. Sure I’ve been working there in the evenings, but I haven’t given it my all, I haven’t shown them how easily I can wrap the men around my finger and control their behavior.
But that’s exactly what I’m going to do. They’ve seen the competent Amelia, but I’m going to show them the no holds barred Amelia. The one who turns prisoners into allies and keeps them happier than they’ve ever been. That’s the Amelia I’m going to show them, because that’s the real Amelia.
It took me nineteen years to discover my real strength but after working at Sam’s for almost a year, I did. I lost track of her a bit with all the turmoil of the first few months here but I’m not going to let her go again. Why it took me going back to a club and being forced to confront those men, who knows, but I’m back and the world will see me for who I am, even if my parents can never know.
Ugh…my parents.
I was supposed to go home for a visit soon. Grandpa’s birthday is in two weeks, his seventieth, except I can’t get offwork. Oh, Maura would let me, but this part-time job isn’t as accommodating. I was three minutes late one morning and I was totally chewed out for it. There’s no way they’ll let me off for an entire day or two to fly back to Missouri for the party, unless they can switch it to Saturday…but that means calling Mom and our weekly phone conversations are bad enough.
It’s the same thing over and over and over. ‘Are you seeing anyone?’ ‘Do you have any new friends? ‘Have you met any boys?’
My mom won’t be happy until I’m barefoot and pregnant—preferably back in Missouri in a little house just down the street from her. Don’t get me wrong. I’d like to get married and have babies like three-fourths of the other women in the world, but I want it to be with the right person. He doesn’t have to be the perfect Mr. Right, but he should be Mr. Right-for-Me.
Well, there you go, you’ve done it now. You’ve discovered my deep, dark secret.
I want the fairytale, no matter how inane it sounds.
No poisoned apples, witches, dwarves, singing/talking animals, magic mirrors, pumpkin carriages, unexpected/unexplainable impromptu song and dance numbers required—just good old-fashioned love. Something that seems to have disappeared from the world along with the cartoon characters I grew up watching that are now unrecognizable.
I mean really, have you seen them and how they now look? Give me the old 2D drawn characters over these new computer generated things. I’m a grown adult and they freak me out, I can’t imagine what kids could possibly think of them.
As of now, I’ve never come close to finding that fairytale, not that I’ve been actively searching or anything. Far from it. I’ve seen more stupid men in the past five years than I ever should have to and that keeps me grounded when some smooth-talking guy comes up to me on the street, in the café, or even the malland lays down a tired pick-up line. I haven’t fallen yet and honestly don’t plan on letting it happen anytime soon…I know, I know, you other hopeless romantics out there are just shouting at me, aren’t you?
You can’t control the when, where and who of falling in love, but I’m not going out looking for it or even letting others think it’s possible. Confused yet? That’s okay; I’ll explain a bit better. My great-grandmother on my dad’s side passed away when I was sixteen. I was the only great-granddaughter or daughter on their side period, another reason I’m so used to being around boys. My great-grandmother had four boys and they all had boys who also all had boys but then my mom and dad had me. So, I’m stuck with eight cousins who are boys and about twenty other second and third cousins who are also all boys.
But to get back to it, when she died, she passed her wedding ring to me that way none of the boys could argue over who got it. Once I started working at the club I had thought, stupidly I might add, that if I wore the ring with its medium sized diamond the guys would be less likely to hit on me or something—turns out it increased the rate and tips. So, I’ve continued to wear it at work and a few times I’d be so exhausted when I got home that I’d forget to take it off and while it might egg the guys at the club on it tends to repel boys at college and work.
That’s why I say I’m not looking and not letting others think I want to be looked at, outside of the club anyway.
Work was typical that night, but my attitude got me more tips than I ever got at Sam’s place which is a bit amusing, and a bit sad, which makes me the slightest bit homesick. Not that I’ll ever admit to it and if anyone dares suggest it, I will deny, deny,deny.
Things got even better over the next few days, although the phone call to my mother didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, and I ended up not going home for the birthday party. In fact, I didn’t bother answering her calls for the next month.
During that time, the only thing that changed was my part-time job ended and another began. This one wasn’t nearly as entertaining as the last, but at least it got my foot in the door at a major corporation, albeit as a floating secretary.
Today, I’m filling in on the top floor for the VP of Finance. The perfect opening to see about a real job, except it didn’t come that day or the next or during any of the twenty that followed it.
