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I will be strong enough to tell you I love you the way you just did to me. I’ll prove that we can somehow make it work. I’ll be yours forever, Chad.
It didn’t make sense. It was a goodbye letter, but it wasn’t a reason as to why he would kill himself. Why would he claim he wanted to come back to me but then kill himself?
This doesn’t help it only creates more questions and I need a final answer. Unfortunately, I’m a bit buzzed and can’t begin to drive to get them. I head over to the bar and pull out my phone dialing Harrison’s number.
“It’s Amelia. I need to talk to you,” I tell him when he answers.
“What’s wrong Ame?”
“My letter…it’s not a goodbye letter Harrison. He said he was going to go to a new school and finish high school. That he’d be the man I needed him to be despite the HIV,” I add because ifthat’s what pushed him over the edge, why would he say this to me in a letter?
“He never said in any of them that he was going to kill himself.”
“No, you don’t get it. He said specifically that he would be back for me.”
“Maybe he wrote yours before that day Ame.”
“He put in it that when he got back, he’d be strong enough to tell me he loved me the way I just had told him. He wrote this that day,” I tell him because I’m done arguing over semantics. I need the truth.
“We all thought the letters meant he’d jumped Ame. I…don’t know what to say…”
“So your letters weren’t specific about it?”
“Not specifically, they just said he couldn’t stay, that he had to make a change in his life.”
“Then why did he go from that to jumping off the bridge?” I ask because none of it makes sense to me.
“Where are you Ame?”
“In the city, I needed to get away to think.”
“Why don’t you meet me out by the bridge? We can talk about this.”
“I’m a little drunk right now. I can’t drive anywhere.”
“I’ll come get you. I should be there in about twenty minutes. You’re at Sam’s, aren’t you?” he asks.
“Yeah…thanks Harrison,” I tell him hanging up.
I went back to the booth getting the letter as I headed to get my bag and change into the sweater that went with the tank tops I was wearing.
I made my way back through the club and waited at the door for him to arrive. My head was a bit fuzzy, and I was grateful that he was nice enough to come pick me up. I’ve never hadanyone outside of Rafe know about this place and tonight I needed someone else to help me.
Nothing made sense, why had he done it? Chad wasn’t the type to take the easy way out, so why did he jump off that bridge?
I really hope that something in Harrison’s letter will make a bit more sense to me. There had to be something that would explain it in the least to me, explain why I wasn’t enough for him to stay with after everything he’d written in that letter to me. If he hadn’t jumped, my entire life might be different. I could have been with him instead of working at the club. I could have shown everyone who I truly am without it coming from working here.
I leaned back against the wall watching for his car and as he pulls in, I realize two things, one he was already in the city and two—I hadn’t given him the address for this place.
I started to move back towards the door, but he was already beside me, grabbing my elbow, forcing me into the car and I knew that something was truly wrong. I dropped my phone praying that Sam or Tony would find it and worry enough to call someone, Rafe, the police—it didn’t really matter because I was in trouble, and I didn’t understand at all why.
Chapter 14
“Time to wake up Amelia,” Harrison said, and I let out a groan, my head pounding in confusion. The rest of last night, tonight, or whenever it was, slid back through my brain and I wondered what he planned to do.
“Harrison…”
“Shut up Amelia,” he says, and I let my gaze slide around the area, my heart stalling when I realized we were on the bridge. He began pacing back and forth in front of me and that’s when it hit me that I was tied to the railing, unable to move from my sitting position.
