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After the test was capped and set down on the counter, I leaned up against the edge of the vanity and closed my eyes, listening to the whooshing sound of my pulse in my ears.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Pregnant.
Jax was going to lose his mind. I’m the one who told him we were fine without a condom. Mr.I don’t want a familywould probably hate this.
My chin quivered again, and I could hardly see the painting on the bathroom wall while I tried to get my emotions under control. When I was sure a couple of minutes had passed, I opened the bathroom door with the test gripped in my hand.
Parker was pacing in the hallway, his face tight with worry. “Well?”
“I haven’t looked yet,” I whispered. “I’m scared.”
My brother straightened his massive shoulders, sucking in a deep breath. “Do you want me to look for you?”
I shook my head, feeling very much like I was going to toss my fucking cookies right there in the hallway.
“And it’s not Dean’s, right?” he asked.
Eyes wide, I glanced up at my brother.“Parker.”
“Right.”
I sucked in a deep breath. I’d count down from sixty and then look. Miserably, I answered, “Besides, Dean plans on waiting to have sex until he gets engaged. Something about his college years and being an athlete, and it felt meaninglesssleeping around so much or something. He’s … he wants to wait.”
Parker blew out a slow breath, eyebrows high on his forehead. “Your boyfriend is regenerating his virginity?” he asked slowly.
I pinched his arm. “Does this feel helpful right now?”
He raised his eyebrows. “No, but I’m just imagining telling someone that story with a straight face on the first date.”
“Second,” I said glumly. “Second date. It was a little awkward, and I almost laughed because I thought he was kidding. Have youseenhim? But…” I shrugged. “It’s not the worst thing in the world, right? Like, there are worse things than dating a man who looks like him, and he won’t sleep with me?” My breath was coming in short, choppy pants. “Let’s think about what those things are. Maybe we can make a list?”
My brother attempted a smile, but it fell quickly. Probably because my freaking out was so big that he was absorbing it by osmosis.
“Poppy,” he said gently. “I think it’s time to look.”
“Right, right. Not the time for a list.”
Heart thrashing in my chest, I joined him in the hallway, and we stood side by side while I lifted the test with shaking hands and focused on the screen.
Pregnant.
A sharp exhale left my mouth, my heart pinwheeling down into my feet, and my whole mind going blank and fuzzy while I stared at the tiny little screen.
I’d imagined having a family. Someday. But not like this.
I’d imagined a partner who loved me, who I loved in the same way. I imagined a nice little home we made for ourselves, and a big white wedding surrounded by all our family and friends. Maybe it wasn’t very modern of me—to want such simple things, love and marriage and then babies after—but there was no ignoring the way my heart hurt from removing so many of those foundational pieces from the equation.
“Holy shit,” I whispered, the first tear sliding down my cheek. “Holy shit.What am I going to do?”
“I mean, you might want to tell your boyfriend first,” he muttered. “Shit, he’s gonna think you had an immaculate conception.”
“Parker,” I wailed. “You’re so bad at this.”
He huffed out a soft laugh. “Sorry. This is … new.”
