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It didn’t pass. And the longer I stood there, the more I didn’t want it to pass.
Pros:
The kind of sex I’d only ever heard about. Headboards banging and multiple orgasms (God, please let there be multiples) and dirty talkbecause if the look on his face was any indication, Jax was capable of excellent dirty talk.
Freedom from this thing over my head for years. A crush that could be left safely in the past because he was always honest about how he didn’t want anything serious.
Cons:
He might turn me down. He might toss my ass out of his bedroom and tell me I was a stupid little girl. See previous note about moving away from embarrassment.
But he might not. Maybe he’d curl his arms around me and say I could stay in the bed, but nothing would happen. The bittersweet ache in my chest was my answer.
I wanted that too.
Just once, for one night, I wanted to know, even if it sated only a small corner of my burning curiosity.
Decision made, I chugged more water and dug into my purse for painkillers, tossing two back to help ease the headache I’d likely have in the morning. Then I tugged the blanket off my shoulders and left it in a heap on the couch while I crept down the hallway.
His door was unlocked, and I eased inside as quietly as I could manage. Seeing the details of the room was impossible, but in the middle of the space was a king-sized bed. Light filtered weakly from the hallway, and I tilted my head to the side as I studied the way he slept.
Jax was on his back, his massive body filling the middle of the mattress, one big hand on the muscled expanse of his broad chest. A sprinkling of dark hair covered his pecs, and my mouth watered as my eyes tracked down the flat, chiseled stomach and the line of black hair that disappeared underneath the blanket bunched around his waist.
His chest rose and fell on deep, even breaths, and I felt my first moment of indecision. God, wouldn’t I murder someone for doing this to me?
Not him, I thought immediately.
If it was him climbing into my bed after our evening, my legs would open for that manso fast. I’d Venus Fly trap that shit, locking my thighs around him so he couldn’t move, and roll on top of him in the next breath.
I took a deep breath and eased the blanket up to slide underneath it. Jax didn’t move as I carefully edged closer toward his big, warm body.
Once I did, oh, the heat of his body had me melting into the mattress. It was like laying next to a furnace, and an involuntary shiver wracked my frame. For a moment, I curled onto my side, pressing my face into a pillow that smelled like him.
This was heaven. Clean and crisp and masculine—sandalwood and citrus and a sharp, delicious note that had my toes curling.
It was when I took a second deep breath and curled more fully into the pillow that Jax moved. He turned onto his side, one arm slipping immediately around my waist and tugging me closer.
My mouth fell open on a quiet gasp. I didn’t dare breathe because this was the part I hadn’t quite figured out. Some gentle touching to wake him, perhaps, but this was like an unexpected gift. The solid weight of his arm over my waist was glorious, and I snuggled closer into his embrace, my nose pressing into the skin of his chest.
God, if this was all I got for the rest of the night, I’d die a happy woman. I’d never ask for anything for the rest of my life. The size of his body dwarfed mine, and it would be so easy to tuck myself next to him and let the smell of his skin lull me to sleep.
This time, my inhale was greedy and deep, and let out a shaky inhale when his arm tightened slightly, the muscles in his biceps moving against my waist, his legs tangling with mine under the covers. His big thigh was between mine, and my jaw tightened to hold in a panicked laugh when Iimagined a different way to wake him up. The shirt I wore bunched up around my hips, adding a sleek, wicked feeling to this relatively innocent embrace.
More. Oh, I wanted more.
My skin tingled as I registered it, and I found myself rocking forward slightly—a pervading emptiness that I wanted to chase away. His thigh was just far enough away from me that I couldn’t get any friction, which was probably for the best.
Without a single drop of more alcohol, I was drunk again in an entirely different way. Now, my blood swam because ofhimand how good it felt to wrap myself in his arms. The erratic thump of my heart was undeniable, and it stemmed from years of wanting this man. Something as simple as him holding me was enough to make my eyes burn and the bridge of my nose tingle.
I’d wanted this for so long, a quiet moment to pretend Jax was mine, and now that I had it, I wanted to tattoo it into my brain for the rest of my life. Something permanent to remember this night.
My hips shifted restlessly again. Jax made a low rumbling noise, his body shifting around mine, and I froze, waiting for him to jump away from me. I waited for the inevitable,what the fuck, Poppy?Waited for anger and embarrassment that he’d wrapped his body around mine like a giant, muscled python.
But he didn’t do any of those things.
His nose dropped into the crown of my hair, and his chest expanded on a slow, focused inhale as my eyelids fluttered shut. It wasn’t something unconscious because his hand slowly fisted into the back of my shirt, and his hips rocked forward then too, bringing our bodies closer.
My eyes flew open when they did.
