AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He chuckles and says, “Figured. After everything they’ve been through and everything Bailey’s lost, I can’t say I blame her for being reluctant to leave her child.”
I broach the subject I’ve been meaning to talk to him about. I’ve put it off because it was never the right time. Of course, the right time probably never came because I’ve avoided Mac like the plague. However, since he’s here now, I may as well get it over with.
“I haven’t thanked you yet for saving Jaxon and Bailey’s lives,” I tell him quietly.
He stares at me for a minute before replying, “No thanks necessary, Pix. The bastard needed to be put down. No way was I going to let him hurt them any more than he already had.”
“Yeah, well, I’m still thankful,” I mutter back to him. I hate being grateful for anything he’s done, but no matter how much I may hate Mac, I will forever be grateful for what he did that day.
Turning my back to him, I pull the bottle from the hot water on the stove. I give the bottle a good shake before tipping it over to test the milk on my wrist. Deeming it warm enough, I unscrew the cap and drop in some of the gas medicine before replacing the lid. I walk over to Mac to get Amari back from him. After Mac carefully deposits her back into my arms, I walk into the living room and sit on the end of the couch. I grab a cloth from the diaper bag beside the couch for accidental spit-up purposes. By this time, Amari’s whimpering is getting louder. I settle her in my arms and plop the bottle in her mouth. She immediately latches on and starts to suck. It’s amazing how every time a baby feeds they act like they’re starving.
I feel Mac settle on the other end of the couch and I look over at him. The expression he is wearing makes my breath catch. He’swatching me feed Amari with such reverence in his eyes. I see a small smile tip up the corners of his lips.
“You’re a natural at this.”
“Only because I used to watch Aunt Tricia’s kids.” I look down at Amari and wipe the dribble of milk that’s sliding out of the corner of her mouth.
“Why haven’t you settled down and had kids of your own?” His question is so quiet I barely hear it. But I do, and it sends a sharp pain straight to my heart.
When I look at him, I know he sees the hurt in my eyes. There is no hiding it from him, even if I wanted to.
“Why ask me that, Mac? You know the answer.” My voice is quiet.
Mac leans over and places his elbows on his knees with his head bent. When he pulls his head back up, I see his jaw clench before he speaks again, like what he’s about to say he doesn’t really want to say it.
“Just because things didn’t work out for us doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have kids, Mia. You would make a wonderful mother. I know that was a big dream of yours. Don’t let what happened between us keep you from that.”
I pull the bottle from Amari’s mouth and prop her up on my shoulder to burp her while I come up with a way to respond to Mac’s statement. He doesn’t understand that what happened ten years ago changed my views on life. No longer do I want to have that family we’d talked about so many times. I no longer want the two-point-five kids and the white picket fence. All my dreams were with Mac in them. When that horrible night happened, he destroyed those dreams. I could never have that now. Mac was meant to share those dreams with me. If I can’t have them with him, then I don’t want them at all. There is no way I could ever imagine having those dreams with anyone else.
Lightly tapping Amari’s back, I finally look over at him. “Those are no longer my dreams, Mac. I’m satisfied with the family I have. I no longer want a familyof my own.”
He frowns and looks down at his hands, clasped together between his legs. When he looks back up, I see the hurt in his eyes from my words. I know that deep down he was hurt by what happened as well. I can’t fool myself into thinking that he wasn’t affected. I have no doubt that he used to love me. It just simply wasn’t enough. I’ve often wondered why he did it, but was never brave enough to find out. I was too scared to know. Call me a coward if you want, but it is what it is.
Trying to lighten the mood, I ask him, “How are your parents doing? Are they enjoying their retirement in Florida?”
I hear him pull in a breath before leaning back against the couch.
“Yeah. It’s driving my mom crazy with dad not working though. She said he never stops, that he’s constantly in the basement building this or that. His current project is making his own charcoal. She said if he’s not in the basement, he’s in the house repairing shit that doesn’t need repairing.” He chuckles at that. You can see the love in his eyes when he talks about his parents. The last I heard, it had been a year since their last visit. He has no other family here. He used to have an aunt and uncle who lived fairly close, but they moved to Australia when his uncle received a job offer he couldn’t refuse. Both of his grandparents died when he was very young, and he has no siblings.
“You must miss them a lot.”
“Yeah, I do. But it’s good for them to be in Florida. The cold was finally starting to get to them. They deserve to be in a place where they’re comfortable. Mom may complain, but I can tell they’re both happy.”
He’s right, they do deserve to be comfortable. It wasn’t long after Mac and I split up that Mac’s dad, Sam, retired from the steel mill one town over after working there for thirty years. His mom, Maryann, worked as a teacher for twenty-five years before she retired. I remember them both being hard workers dedicated to their jobs. But even more so, they were dedicated to their small family. They were always so nice to Jaxon, Anna, and me. Mac’sparents were over the moon and welcomed me into the family when they found out Mac and I were seeing each other, even with the age difference. They knew Mac had a good head on his shoulders, and wouldn’t take advantage of me.
I knew that with the breakup, they were hurt as well. They, just like me, thought we would be together forever. They had tried several times to reach out to me after everything happened, but I always refused them, knowing it would only make it hurt worse. Maryann was like a second mother to me and Sam was more of a father to me than mine ever was. I feel terrible for not going to see them before they left, but I just couldn’t.
“They’re coming down in a few weeks and I know they would love to see you,” Mac says, breaking me from my thoughts.
“Maybe,” I say, noncommittally.
“So, how are your mom, Levi, and aunt and uncle doing? Have you heard from them since they left for their cruise?”
“No,” I say, and look over at the clock hanging on the wall. “Actually, they should be boarding the cruise ship right about now.”
“It’s still hard to believe that Lilly and Levi have been seeing each other for over two years and none of us knew.”
“Yeah, she’s become very sneaky. But I’m happy for them. My mom, more than anyone, deserves to be happy.”
