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“You deserve to be happy as well, Pix.”
I look over at him and see sincerity in his eyes. He means what he says. What he doesn’t understand is I’ll never truly be happy again.
“I’m as happy as I’ll ever be.”
I get up off the couch when I realize Amari has fallen asleep lying on my shoulder. I walk over to the bassinet and gently place her inside. Once I prop her on her side, I walk back to the couch and take my seat again. We both sit in silence for a few minutes before I turn and face Mac.
“What did you want to talk about?” It’s getting more and more difficult having him here. This is the first pleasantconversation we’ve had since that night long ago. I don’t like having him in my space. I want no memories of him being here. This is my safe haven and I want to keep it that way. The longer he stays here the more I can imagine him here… with me.
“Hear me out before you stop me, okay?” At my hesitant nod, he continues. “I know you don’t care about what happened that night. I also know it won’t change anything, but what happened is not what it seems. Ineedyou to understand what you saw.”
As much as I know it will end up hurting to bring up the past, I’ve become very curious. There is no excuse for what he did with Tessa and nothing he says will make it okay in my eyes, but obviously, Mac feels it will explain and help me understand his reasoning. I take a deep breath and hope I’m not making a mistake.
“Okay, I’ll listen to what you have to say.”
Relief immediately floods his face as he gives me a grateful smile.
“But not right now,” I add. “Let’s wait until Jaxon and Bailey come back. My focus needs to be on Amari.”
He nods, understanding. He knows this will hurt to talk about, and I don’t need any distraction while caring for my brother’s baby.
“That’s fine. Next week, maybe, after they come back.”
“Okay.” I get up from the couch and move toward the door, ready for him to leave. I need him gone so I can process the temporary reprieve.
When I make it to the door, I feel him standing right behind me. I turn around and he’s less than two feet from me. Taking another step toward me, he shortens the distance by half. I steady my heart from his close proximity. I look up at him and see him studying my face, like he wants to say something, but isn’t sure he should.
Instead of talking, he lightly rubs his thumb across my cheek. I close my eyes at the contact, knowing I should take a step back but also knowing I won’t. I’ve missed his touch so much. For these few seconds, I want to forget about everything else.
I feel his breath on my lips right before I feel just a whisper of his on mine. It wasn’t really a kiss, more like a light graze.
“I’m so damn sorry, Mia,” he whispers in my ear, and kisses the side of my head. I feel the sting of tears at the back of my eyes.
Without opening my eyes, I know he’s no longer in front of me. A couple seconds later, I hear the soft click of the door closing, telling me he is gone. When I do open my eyes, a single tear trickles down my cheek.
8
Mia
Her thighs…
THE NEXT DAY I’M in my living room with Chris, Karyn, and Andrew. Jaxon decided to close down the bar for the weekend because he knew he and Bailey were going out of town and I would be watching Amari. That only left Andrew to tend to it. Chris works there part-time when we need her and Jaxon’s hired a couple of waitresses, but that wouldn’t have been enough.
We’re all sitting around watching Amari squirm around on her stomach on her blanket in the middle of the living room floor. She tries her damndest to lift her head but isn’t able to for long. How awful it must be to not have control of your body.Ha!That’s funny because I didn’t have any control of my body the other day.
I look over at Chris, who has just lain down and put her head next to Amari. They all descended on my house this morning because they knew I had Amari for the weekend. Jaxon isn’t real fond of sharing her very often. They saw this as an opportunity to shower her with attention.
“You sure are a cute little thing, aren’t you,” Chris coos at Amari, and tickles her under her chin.
“She gets it from her daddy,” Andrew pipes in, with a huge smile.
Poor Andrew. He’s always secretly crushed on Jaxon. He knows he’s never had a chance, as Jaxon has never swung that way, but you can’t help your feelings.
Chris rolls over to her back, looks over at him, and asks, “Are you seeing anyone, Andrew?”
“I see a lot of people, Chris,” Andrew replies, with a cheeky grin.
She sits up and crosses her legs. “Alright, smart-ass. Are you dating anyone?”
