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“Fair enough. Do you feel comfortable sharing your hopes for the future with me?”
“I will answer your questions in spite of my discomfort. Does that work?”
“For the moment, yes.”
"Wonderful. My hope for the future is that Turk and I save many lives and put many assholes behind bars where they can't hurt anyone. I hope to marry my boyfriend one day, and I hope to be friends with Michael for the rest of my life. I don't know if this rises to the level of a lifelong dream, but it would be cool to own a '49 Chevy and turn it into a grand tourer I can take Turk across the country with."
“You are a fan of classic automobiles?”
“Oh yes. If I hadn’t joined the Marine Corps, I would have apprenticed at an auto shop and learned how to work on cars. I still think it would be cool as hell to drop a small-block into a ’49 Chevy, maybe pair it with a six-speed and some upgraded suspension and better tires and take it across the country.”
“That sounds fun.”
Faith nodded. “It’ll be a challenge to get a six-speed to fit, but I’m pretty sure I can make it happen. I might have to forgo the supercharger, but a stock small block will still put out threehundred fifty horsepower, and that’s three times the power the original engine has.”
Dr. Perth smiled placidly at her, and Faith felt heat climb her cheeks. It was pretty damned obvious that she was talking about cars to avoid talking about anything serious. The fact that Perth knew this and chose not to say anything bugged Faith.
Well, Perth had asked. It was her fault.
“What about fears?” Perth asked when Faith fell silent. “What do you fear could happen in the future?”
Faith sighed. “I fear…” She fell silent again and finally said, “You know what, Doc? I’m sorry, I’m just… this is a lot at once. I think you and I have different ideas of what constitutes a light opening session. Can we not talk about my fears today?”
“We don’t have to talk about them today,” Dr. Perth agreed. “But wedoneed to talk about them.”
“Why?” Faith blurted out before she could stop herself. “I mean…” she reddened. “I just… I’m fine. I really don’t understand why everyone acts like I’m not.”
“Who acts like you’re not fine?”
“No one. I just mean…” She pressed her lips together and waited for the response she knew was coming.
“No one is a bit of a far cry from everyone,” Dr. Perth pointed out.
“I didn’t mean everyone,” Faith insisted. “I just… I don’t want to be here, okay? I’m sorry. It’s not your fault. I’m sure you’re a great doctor, but I donotwant to be here. I don’t need to be here, and I’m not happy about it. So there.”
Dr. Perth looked away and tapped her clipboard for a moment. “You more than anyone else have a reason not to trust therapy, Faith. There are no words that can describe how heinous Franklin West’s actions were. As someone who’s committed my life to counseling people, knowing that FranklinWest used my profession as a tool to torture you psychologically infuriates me.”
“You don’tlookinfuriated.”
“It wouldn’t help you for me to show anger,” Dr. Perth replied. “But I am angry. The same way you would be angry if a killer masqueraded as an FBI agent and used that cover to murder innocent people.”
The egg timer chimed, and Dr. Perth calmly pressed the snooze button. “And that is our session for today.” She met Faith’s eyes. “I think you’re right. I think you should continue to bring Turk with you for a while. We have a long way to go to build the rapport we’ll need to truly tackle the issues troubling you. You should have someone you trust absolutely to help you take the first steps.”
Faith sighed. She felt a lot of things, but to simplify everything, she chose to express the gratitude. "Thank you, Doctor. I appreciate your understanding."
“Of course.” Dr. Perth stood and handed Faith her business card. “Please don’t hesitate to call me at any time for any reason.”
Faith lifted an eyebrow. “Seriously?”
“Yes. Eventually, I will create more boundaries, but for now, it’s important to me that you know I’m committed to helping you.”
Faith didn’t want to take any more time trying to wrap her head around this decision, so she took the card. “Thank you, Doc.”
“Of course. Have a good evening, Faith.”
Faith led Turk from the office and tried to make sense out of everything. She really didn’t want to go to therapy, but as long as she was here, she might as well play along.
Perth was just so different from West. It galled Faith to admit it, but she preferred West’s more straightforward approach. Dr.Perth wanted Faith to run the sessions, it seemed. Faith wasn’t sure she wanted to do that.
