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She had been pleased to see her friend make the cut. She’d known that Sara’s place hadn’t been guaranteed, and a part of her had wondered whether her own decision to drop out of the ER internship program had saved Sara. There was no doubtthat her place had been given to someone. But she would never ask, and she would never suggest the idea to Sara. Besides, it probably wasn’t true. There were others who could easily have been cut but were still around.
But she agreed with Sara that trimming the fat should have put Dominic in a better mood. Chad had been cut from the program, and surely not having to put up with him day in and day out would make anyone’s life better. And then — though she didn’t like to think of it in these terms — there was the fact that she herself was gone. That had to be making Dominic’s life easier.
Although, is my life any easier because I don’t see him anymore?It certainly hadn’t improved her mood any to be separated from him.
“How can you tell he’s moodier than ever?” she asked her friend. “I would have thought he was already pretty maxed out on the moodiness scale.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. It’s like he’s walking around with a storm cloud over his head,” Sara said. “If you ask him a question — even a perfectly normal one — he just about takes your head off. Most people have stopped talking to him. If I need to know the answer to something, I’ll ask a nurse if I can. They’re the only ones who aren’t intimidated by him these days. Although I guess you wouldn’t have been, back when you were in the program.”
“You don’t think so?”
“You were the only one he ever got along with,” Sara said. “He was even mentoring you for a while. He liked you. And I know you didn’t mind him, although I don’t know why you’d want someone like that to be your mentor. Is that the real reason you switched specialties? To get a new mentor?”
“Of course it isn’t,” Emily said. “I didn’t need to switch specialties for that. I could have just opted out of the mentorship.”
“That probably would have pissed him off even more.” Sara sipped her milkshake. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Catching up on my paperwork.”
“Do not ask me to believe that you aren’t caught up on your paperwork,” Sara said.
“Okay, I’m getting ahead on my paperwork.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you work too hard?”
“Yes,youhave. Frequently.”
“You should start listening to me. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come to the Chicago Symphony. They’re doing a film score thing. You like movies, right?”
“I don’t mind them.” Emily shook her head. “I don’t think I have time for the symphony.”
“Even now? I know you’re not working the crazy long hours you were when you were in the ER.”
“I am, actually,” Emily admitted. “I know I shouldn’t. Dr. Nash doesn’t insist on it the way Dr. Berger did.”
“So why do you do it?”
“It feels good to work,” Emily said. “It’s a good distraction.”
“A distraction fromwhat?”
Emily bit her lip. That was a question she didn’t want to answer. “I just… like it,” she said. “I like pouring myself into my work.”
“Well, Dr. Berger has definitely rubbed off on you in that way, at least. Good grief,” Sara laughed. “I never thought you would end up just like him inthatway. I wonder if he knows?”
“I’m sure Dr. Berger isn’t paying that much attention to what I do,” Emily said. “He’s not in charge of me anymore, so why should he worry about what’s going on with me?”
“I don’t know,” Sara admitted. “But I do think he would be proud of his protégé if he knew.”
“I’m not his protégé. I’m not his anything.”
“Okay, jeez. Why are you getting so sensitive about it?” Sara asked, her eyebrows shooting up. “I wasn’t criticizing you.”
“No, I know you weren’t,” Emily sighed. She decided on a half-truth, since it was obvious that her friend could tellsomethingwasn’t right. “The truth is that, even though I chose to switch specialties, I can’t help feeling like a failure sometimes. I was accepted to this really difficult program, and then I didn’t make it through.”
“Everyone knows you could have made it if you had wanted to,” Sara said loyally. “We talk about you all the time, you know.”
“You do?
