AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I smile, even as I shake my head. “I couldn’t have. What if they were a student, or a future student?”
“I guess I didn’t think of that, but either way — I’m happy to see you here, Luke. I really am. I’m happy you wanted to come to something like this. I’m happy I got to see you enjoying it.”
“The kids were good. You taught them all that?”
Sebastian sits up a little straighter, his smile growing. “I did. I even made the choreography. I wanted them to help out, and they were the ones out there dancing, of course, but yeah, I’m … kind of proud of it.”
“You should be.” I squeeze his hand. Sebastian looks down, bashful. “I’m serious. You really should be.”
“It’s just a little dance for kids.”
“Yeah, and youmadethat. You made it. You taught it to them. You made sure they could understand it and do it. That’s amazing. I’m telling you as a teacher, you should be proud as hell.”
Sebastian’s smile somehow widens, even as I watch him attempt to restrain it. “I really want to kiss you right now,” he says.
Despite my fear, despite how I ran away from that stage in the park, I lean forward and grant his wish, kissing him gently with our hands still clasped. He melts against me. I feel it happen. His body relaxes, more of his weight tipping toward me as he leans into me. It’s a sort of willful surrender. He’s giving me this piece of him, this moment of trust. He’s believing I’ll catch him here against my mouth, hold him, keep him.
Even so, I don’t let the kiss last as long as I’d like. Anyone could walk past the windows of my car, after all.
“So, are you going to leave now?” Sebastian says.
Maybe I should have kissed him harder and longer. The move wasn’t as distracting as I might have hoped.
“I think I should,” I say. “I wanted to come here and see what it was like. I wanted to, I don’t know, dip my toe in. I thought I could get a little inspiration for the Pride display back at school. I don’t really know. I don’t know what I was looking for. I don’t even know if I found it. But it’s probably best if I go now.”
“I understand,” Sebastian says, and it sounds like he really does, “but what if I could give you some extra inspiration?”
For a second, I think he’s propositioning me. My body stirs at the implied invitation. He can’t mean rightnow, can he?
“I have my other job,” Sebastian says. “The one at the club downtown. Now that I’ll be done volunteering, I’ll be dancing there a lot. I have to be there Thursday night, in fact. You could … you could come check it out some time, if you wanted to. I can get you in the club for free. It’s Leathers. If you texted, I could make sure they let you in.”
My stomach twists with his every word. “Sebastian, I don’t know if I could actually…”
“I just think it’s something you should see some time,” Sebastian barrels on. “It’s a very different environment from a family-friendly event in a park, you know? It’s a whole world you’ve never even seen. It’s … it’s my world, I guess. I’ve been in it a long time. I’d like you to see it some day.”
That last part stabs into my gut, but how do I tell him I can’t possibly go to that club? If someone saw me here at the park, there might be an explanation I could offer, but if they found me in a gay nightclub, there would be no deflecting that. I would have to come out all at once. Not that I think my co-workers spend much time in nightclubs, but they could. The possibility is there. Even if it wasn’t, what would a guy like me do in a nightclub? I’m thirty and have never set foot inside a club. I certainly don’t dance. I’d be so out of place that I might as well be straight.
“I don’t know,” I say.
“Think about it. You have my number. If you ever decide to show up, including Thursday night, then let me know. I can get you a drink or something. I just think… It would be cool to show you what I do, to show you that piece of my life. Plus, I think you should try it at least once. The club scene isn’t for everyone, but you don’t know if you never check it out. That’s all.”
My hand is suddenly sweaty in his. “I understand. I’ll think about it. I will.”
“I know this is a lot and it’s all happening fast, but I hope you consider it. I’d … I’d love to see you there while I was dancing. I think it’d be … kinda cool.”
Sebastian’s smile is shy and flickering, an expression I’ve never seen on him. He’s always bold, always happy to be in the spotlight, but here he is made bashful by the ideaof me seeing him dance. That alone almost convinces me to agree right there on the spot.
In the end, I hold back, just as I’ve always held back. I have a few days between now and Thursday to decide.
“I’ll think about it,” I say instead. “I have to see how the week is going. We’re going to start putting up our Pride displays and everything.”
Sebastian could pressure me, could try to extract some firm promise from me, but as he has since the beginning of this, he leaves me space to make the choice on my own. He squeezes my hand one more time before letting go, then reaches for the door.
“That sounds good,” he says. “You can let me know that night if it comes down to it. It won’t really matter to the club manager. But I should get going. The kids are probably wondering where I went. I shouldn’t bail on them for so long.”
“I understand. Um, and thank you. For talking to me.”
“Thank you for letting me catch you.”
