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12
Khadejah
“Screw you Khadejah! Screw you for letting yourself sink so low. How dare you repeat the same mistake of giving yourself to another man? Didn't you learn enough lessons from the previous experience already?” I asked the reflection I saw in the bathroom mirror.
My eyes looked swollen from the bitter tears I had cried since I got into the confines of the space Regina allocated to me in her house. My lips still burnt from the hot fierce kisses Seth gave me and no matter how hard I tried at wiping his taste off, the more adamantly I felt his sweetness on my tongue as if it yearned for more. Even my body had betrayed me by craving to feel the warmth of his touch on my bare skin. How could I have let it happen? My chest ached badly.
“Damn you Seth! Why didn't you just let me be after I turned you down several times? Why did you lead me on to accepting to make love to you when you had a girlfriend, somebody you loved?” I began sobbing uncontrollably when I saw the reflection was as confused as I. Asking the same questions as I. Aching as I.
It didn't do me any good when the thought of him being married to her crossed my mind. “But he had no ring on his hand and didn't look married,” I tried my best to justify my actions, but the more I tired, the more terrible I felt. She was the most beautiful white woman I had ever set my eyes on and any man in his right frame of mind would give all the bounties he possessed to have her. But why did he chase after me?
Why did I allow myself to get suckered into believing things could be different with Seth? I hoped he wasn’t like Darren, but he was more like him than I wanted to admit. I stood looking at myself in the mirror, I hated the tears that fell relentlessly from my eyes. My heart sank, and my anger flared. “Never again,” I promised myself under my breath. But you said that once before my mind rebutted? Well I mean it this time. I won’t give another man a chance to hurt me. Especially the likes of a player like Seth Redding. I gulped in a ragged sob, because I knew deep down that I only had myself to blame for falling in love with a man that was so out of my league. What the hell was I thinking anyway?
The only answer there could be to my endless throbbing questions stared back malignantly at my face. Seth was a player. And he had obviously made an attempt at using me as one of his flavors of the night. Cleaning the stinging tears off my eyes, I made a decision not to let myself repeat the same mistake. This time I would stick to my decision.
My phone beeped, I picked it up and saw it was a voicemail from Seth. I punched the button and listened to his voice fill my bedroom.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Ashley doesn’t mean a damn thing to me. Please talk to me and give me a chance to explain. I’ve never felt this way about another woman. I don’t want to lose you.”
Seth's voice riddled with pleas filled my ears until his time ran out. He called me repeatedly, but I allowed his phone calls to go unanswered.
