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“Come on, I’ll show you to your room.”
“Cool!” She was still in awe of the place.
We went down a hallway then right, the first room was the guest room.
“Here it is.” I opened the door.
“This is nice.” She said with a smile on her face.
I looked inside it was basic with plain white walls, a queen-sized bed and just some furniture that made the room look presentable. I never really let anyone sleep in there unless it was Essy and Jared. I brought her suitcase in the room while she still had her backpack that she refused to let me to hold.
“Alright, well I’ll let you get some rest. Tomorrow is a busy day.”
“Tomorrow?” She asked.
“Yeah? The whole fitting. Where’s your itinerary for everything? Essy drives us all nuts if we don’t have it.”
“I printed it out and I’ll check it once I’m situated.”
“Cool. Oh, the guest bathroom is right across your room. I’m further down the hall, if you need anything don’t hesitate to look around or ask. My home is your home.”
After that statement, she just looked at me. She gave me a sharp nod instead of talking as if I said something to offend her. I turned my back to walk out but then I thought better of it as I turned back around to look at her.
“Yes?” She asked.
“I never abandoned you Roe. I can’t abandon someone who wants to be left alone.”
“What are you talking about?” Her confused expression almost had me.
“Forget it Roe.” I shook my head. I was too tired to deal with it all.
Here I was still in my bed thinking over that conversation and her words. Those words that couldn’t leave me be. I didn’t abandon her. I wrote her every damn day that I could, I called and called but she didn’t want to speak to me. I remember when I called her on her eighteenth birthday, I heard her in the background as her mother picked up. She yelled and yelled at how she didn’t want to talk to me. She was so angry at me and I didn’t understand why. It never made sense and when I met Essy again in New York, she explained to me that Roe hated me and used to rip each of my letters up. She told everyone in her home not to ever give her the phone if I called. When their mother died, I bought a plane ticket and everything so that I could go to the funeral, I didn’t care if she hated me, I wanted to be there for her but Essy showed me the email she sent her. I could never forget that email. It was engraved in my mind.
Dear Essy,
I know you’ll be coming in the day of momma’s funeral. I just wanted to send you the address of the church of where daddy and I will be. Daddy says he wished you could’ve come earlier but I understand how University works, sometimes you can’t just up and leave especially during midterms or finals. I know how much you loved Momma and vice-versa, so I know she would love it if you had her locket with a picture of you inside when you were a baby in her arms. I read your previous email about Dom coming as well but as my older sister and family, I’m begging you not to let him come. I hate him so much and I don’t want him around, he’ll only make things worse.
Xoxo,
Roe-Roe.
I stopped emailing, calling, and sending letters that night. I shoved Monroe Rodricks so deep behind the walls of my frigid heart and mind that when she appeared at the restaurant, I forgot all about it until she mentioned that I abandoned her.
My phone going off jolted me out of my memories and I reached a hand over my nightstand twisting my cell to look at who was calling me at this hour.
“Hey Dad.”
“Dom, morning. Did I catch you at a bad time?” He asked happy as ever. His Dutch accent on full blast.
“Morning and kinda, it’s like 3 in the morning. What’s wrong?” I sat up knowing I wasn’t going to fall asleep just yet.
He laughed, loudly at that. I hated when he did that knowing he was doing it on purpose.
“I’m calling because you know after your best friend’s wedding, it’s time to accept who you are. I’ve let you roam about building a life and business for yourself but now, now son it’s time.”
I sighed, dreading this. I didn’t want to turn thirty because that meant it was time to accept what was always laid out for me. Something my mother never mentioned to me as she raised me until she died right before my eighteenth birthday. I hated my birthday, hated celebrating it, being reminded of it. It was only two days after my mother’s death anniversary. I ran a hand through my hair as I shut my eyes.
“Yeah I know dad. After the wedding, I will make my way there. I’ll start packing and sending my stuff over. I have to make sure Jared knows he’ll be in charge while I’m gone.”
