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“I want to be there,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for doubt. “It’s important to me. If there’s one thing you need to know about me, Sophie, is that I don’t do anything halfheartedly. And I plan to be there for every step of this pregnancy and thereafter.” He cleared his throat and flicked on the indicator. “If you’ll allow it, of course.”
I said nothing in response. My tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth, and too many thoughts swirled in my head like a flock of angry birds: Vicki and whether she ever dreamed of having children, Alex’s feelings about it, and their failed engagement.
So many questions to ask. So many answers to process, yet I glanced out the window and kept quiet.
The gynecologist's office wasn't far. A five-minute drive at best.
Alex pulled into the small parking lot and I prepared to get out of the car. This time, he beat me to it and opened my door before I had the chance. Stepping out, my fluttering heartbeat was replaced by heavy nerves in my stomach.
“Let’s get this over with.”
The ultrasound probe moved across my belly.
The gel was cold but not uncomfortable, not nearly as uncomfortable as Alex’s gaze on the screen, which had moments ago flickered to life.
There was a twitch in his jaw, and he sat so ramrod straight that it looked like his spine had been fused. If we’d been a married couple or at least dating, I would’ve laid a hand on his knee, which was bobbing up and down, and said, “Calm down.”
“Alright, let’s see how things are looking.” Dr. Sims smiled. She had chestnut brown hair and curtain bangs and eyes as green as olives. A bit young, not that I minded. She came highly recommended by Caleb’s sister, who already had three beautiful kids.
“It’s still a bit early to hear the heartbeat,” said Dr. Sims. “That usually happens around seven weeks or so, and based on this, you’re about six weeks along.” As she moved the wand to the right, she paused and smiled a little wider. “It looks like there aretwogestational sacs.”
“Two what?” I blurted, my body breaking out into a sweat, my heart feeling as if someone had punched it over and over again. “What does that mean?”
Although I knew exactly what that meant. Yet another unforeseen problem.
Alex beat the doctor to it. “It’s a strong indicator of twins.” His face was expressionless, his eyes unblinking, and his fingers interlaced, his knuckles white.
Dr. Sims nodded. “It appears so. We can’t see much more at this early stage, but the presence of two sacs suggests that you’re likely expecting twins.”
I squinted at the screen, trying to make sense of the fuzzy gray image. There were in fact two small sacs, basically two dark spots in an ocean of gray.
Dr. Sims removed the wand and wiped the last of the gel off my belly. “It’s a lot to take in, but it’s also early days. We’ll schedule another appointment for nine weeks and keep monitoring things closely after that.”
“Thank you,” I mumbled, barely able to breathe. The room was feeling way too small, as if everything was pushing in, as if I was about to be trapped in a tiny box with the weight of the news pressing down on me.
I wanted to scream.
Heck, I wanted Alex to scream, to storm out of the room shouting that he hadn’t signed up for twins. That a single, lonely baby had seemed way more manageable, way more controllable, and that he couldn’t possibly be involved now. But Alex only sat there, as still as a statue—the hot Grecian kind—, his mind probably exploding.
What was he thinking? What thoughts were running through his mind? AParent Trapkind of situation.
I’d get the reserved, soft-spoken Annie, and Alex would get the tomboy Hallie—a perfect solution. Except I could never bring myself to say goodbye to one of my babies, even if I was nowhere near prepared to give birth to two.
“Take your time getting dressed,” said Dr. Sims, turning off the machine. “I’ll schedule your next appointment.” She then left, the door clicking shut behind her.
Two babies.
Twins.
Ha. Ha. Funny world. Good one. Now that you’ve had your sick joke, how about changing that screen, and showing me one gestational sac instead?
I stole a glance in Alex’s direction. He was still silent, his head on the screen even though it was turned off and blank.
Taking a deep breath in, I pulled down my top to cover my belly and shifted over to the side of the bed. “You don’t have to be a part of this if you don’t want to, Alex,” I said, not sure why I was still trying to coax him out of it when he had made it clear he wanted to be involved.
“I know it’s a lot to—”
“No,” he interrupted, shaking his head. “I want to, alright? I really do, Sophie. It takes two people to make a baby . . . babies,” he corrected and then slid his hand over mine to tangle our fingers together. “I would never be able to live with myself if I walked away. I am already in love with our babies,” he said, his voice trembling slightly as he spoke. As he leaned in to kiss my hand, I saw the tell-tale signs of tears forming in his eyes.
