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None of those explanations seemed likely.
No wonder my palms were starting to sweat and pressure was building up behind my ribs—none of which had anything to do with the gynecologist appointment I was heading to.
Deciding that watching him while he studied the tree was getting too creepy, I closed the door a little harder than I usually would.
Alex swiveled on the spot, his gaze meeting mine.
“You really have to stop dropping by unannounced,” I said when I reached him, tugging the strap of my handbag up my shoulder.
He smiled, and it reached his eyes, lightning them up like molten gold. “I would’ve called, but I know you have a habit of not answering my calls.”
Guilty as charged. Two weeks had come and gone since Alex had shown up uninvited at my door, proclaiming he wanted to be a part of the baby’s life. In my defense, I’d spent most of that time trying to figure out how to include Alex in my life without actually including him. So far, I’d come up with zilch.
“I assume Becks told you I was here,” I said, well aware of the saltiness in my voice. Half of it was directed at Alex and the other half at Becks. For a best friend, she was doing a really crappy job at keeping my interests at heart.
“She did,” Alex said, his lips still tipping upwards. “Apparently, you’ve got your first appointment with the gynecologist today.”
I blew out a breath. I couldn’t even fume about it because this was his baby too. It was only fair—though fair would’ve been if I could share some of the morning sickness with him. I was getting really sick—excuse the pun—of not keeping down my breakfast, and had to keep reminding myself there were women out there who experienced the stomach-churning, bile rising sensation all day.
“I’m going to kill Becks.”
Alex chuckled, though it wasn’t as light as before, and I wondered if it would ever be again. If the news of the baby was the reason his laugh sounded so heavy, as if he was carrying a suitcase of worries. A baby was probably one of the biggest worries of all time.
“Give her some slack. She’s just worried about you.”
“There’s no reason for her to be worried. I’m perfectly fine,” I lied and covered up the poor attempt by checking my watch. The appointment was set for ten a.m., and it was a quarter to already. “I’ve got to go.”
He stepped forward at the same time I did, blocking my path, the fingers of his right hand twitching as if he were prepared to grab my wrist if I decided to run away.
The thought had crossed my mind—running to the end of the block and calling a Lyft.
But then, there was also the thought of his hand on mine, the soft touch of his fingers.
“I want to join you for the appointment,” he said.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” I started, but then cut myself off. My reasons felt inadequate—nothing more than the simple truth:We don’t know each other, Alex. We’re basically strangers. It was a mistake, and now we’re paying for it.They just didn’t seem good enough to keep Alex away from the first ultrasound.
Taking a breath in, I sighed loudly and flicked my head to my car. “I’ll drive.”
“My car’s parked behind yours,” pointed out Alex, that smart smirk on his face both hot and annoying. “I think it's best I drive.”
My eyes locked with his, filled with a mix of disbelief and annoyance. Of course someone as conceited and arrogant as Dr. Hottie thought that the world revolved around him. But then, Becky's words echoed in my mind - for the sake of the baby, I should give Alex a chance.
My heart was torn between my own feelings and what may be best for my child.
“Fine,” I huffed. “But only because it’ll take valuable minutes to swap cars and I don’t want to be late.”
He nodded and was just about to head to the passenger seat to open the door when I beat him to it. The leather seat was smooth and cold beneath my legs. It still had that new car smell.
You’d never think it had been involved in a fender bender once upon a time.
Alex climbed in right after and closed the door behind him. He glanced my way, smiled—I swear my heart couldn’t beat any faster—and put the car in reverse.
“You know this doesn’t mean anything, right?” I said while we drove along the street, houses with their front gardens spilling on the sidewalk passing by slowly.
Alex’s eyes flickered in my direction and back to the road. “In a way, it does. This is a continuation of what I said to you the other day. I want to be involved. If that means driving from Santa Rosa every few weeks, when you have a scan, then so be it.”
“I could just send you a picture of the ultrasound.”
