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“I mean, just to clarify, I am the dad. Right?” I tease, desperate to lighten the situation a little.
Lis rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling, just a little. “Well, I’ll have to do the math, but?—”
“Hey,” I say, yanking her closer as I press my lips to her temple. “Don’t even joke about that, babe.”
Her smile disappears as she puts her hand on my cheek and whispers, “What the fuck are we going to do, Nick? I’ve messed up so badly.”
“Elissa,” I whisper, turning to kiss her palm. I can hear the sadness in her voice, and it breaks my heart. “Youhaven’t messed up. Last I checked it kinda takes two of us for this to happen.”
She closes her eyes, her head dropping as she murmurs, “I swear it was an accident, I’m on the pill, I?—”
“Babe, I know you are,” I say, lifting her chin up, as I give her a smile. I really need her to know I don’t blame her for this.
“I was on antibiotics when you first came back. Strep throat,” she says with a shrug. “I think that’s probably how it happened.”
“So like…” I stop as I mentally do the math. I’ve been back in Badger Creek for nearly three months now and have pretty much been sleeping with Lis since that first day I came back here when she showed up at my house.
“Yeah,” she says, giving me a wry smile. “Maybe that first day, I don’t know.” She shrugs, sinking back into the couch, her head falling back as she closes her eyes.
I watch her, everything turning over and over in my head as my brain tries to process it all. I know this is big news and I know this is going to change everything, but as I sit here staring at Lis, the woman I thought I’d lost. The woman I have loved my entire life, there’s only one thing that is flashing loud and clear in my head.
One thing that matters above everything else.
We made a baby. We made a baby, before we were even back together and fuck me, if that isn’t a sign that all of this was totally meant to be and exactly right and basically the greatest thing ever.
I burst out laughing, unable to stop myself. Lis opens her eyes, hitting me with a look and it only makes me laugh harder as I reach over and pull her into my lap. I curl one arm around her shoulders as my other hand slides under her sweater to rest on her stomach.
“I fucking love you, Elissa Green,” I whisper, a huge grin on my face. “And holy shit, we’re having a baby. You and me.”
I lean in and kiss her hard as Lis’ hand moves to my chest and she gently eases me back. “Nick, wait.”
“What?” I ask, confused. “You are having it, right?” I ask, suddenly scared that maybe she was thinking about an alternate future. “Lis, you?—”
“Yes, I’m having it,” she says with a nod. “But, Nick, this is going to change everything.”
I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Yeah, I know, babe, but shit, we’re having a kid, that’s…fuck, it’s amazing!”
“But you don’t even want kids yet,” she wails, her hand still on my chest. “I’ve heard you say it to Max and Alex and with everything going on with skiing, I mean…fuck, Nick how can we possibly make this work.” She pauses, shaking her head a little. “Wait, shit, what happened with your coach today?” she now asks, as though she’s only just remembering about the meeting. I try to wave it away, like it doesn’t matter, but Lis continues. “Tell me what happened.”
“Well, he’s um, he’s actually here,” I say, pulling my hand from her stomach as I shove it through my hair.
“Here in Badger Creek?”
“Uh huh,” I confirm with a nod.
“And?”
I take a deep breath, letting it out slowly because I know exactly what she’s going to say when I tell her what the coach said. It doesn’t matter if it’s too early for me to be back on the slopes, as soon as I tell her he wants me to move back to Park City, she’s going to tell me to go.
And right now, that’s the last fucking thing I want to do. I mean yeah, skiing competitively is everything I’ve ever dreamed about, but so is a future with Lis. I thought I’d lost that once and it had almost killed me. And now that I have her back, I don’t ever want to let her go, because losing her for a second time honestly scares me more than not being able to ski again.
“Nick,” she prompts.
“He’s pushing for me to get back on skis,” I tell her.
“Really?” she asks, surprised, before quickly adding, “that’s awesome. See I knew it would all work out.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I say.
