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“Oh, we all saw it. You looked like a spider, limbs all bent around you.” I ball up the bonfire application in front of me and toss it at her. She catches and unfurls it, smoothing it across her thighs to read it. “You not approving the Equinox bonfire?”
“Which one?” I scoff, holding up three more sheets. “Seems like every Bayal in the city wants to run one. We do not want four bonfires running at the same time.” Cirrha crumbles the paper in front of her, then pulls it out and re-crumbles it, softening it as she fidgets. “Is something on your mind, Cirrha?”
Her short, curly hair becomes the target of her nerves as she runs her fingers through it. “Sort of.” When I stare at her, silently urging her to continue, she sighs. “I’ve never seen winners treated the way Viola and Tulip have been. And I’m curious why they didn’t leave when Stone took the others to their village.”
My stomach twists, the reminder that this last group of winners that were just led to their deaths churning acid up my throat. I cough, trying to buy myself time to answer her.
“Do not try to lie to me, Mace.” Cirrha pins me with a withering gaze despite the fidgeting and nerves her body portrays. As close as we are, I am still her leader, and she fears confronting me, even knowing the most I would do is shut her down.
“Would you believe me if I told you it had to do with the Gods?”
She sucks her lip into her mouth, worrying it. “I would.”
I lean back, crossing my arms behind my head. “Stone and I have been working to bring them back. It’s not guaranteed, but Viola may be our best bet at doing it. If we can get her to agree.” I don’t add that part of me hopes she won’t agree, the fear of losing her stronger than the desire to return the Gods to the land.
But the joy and hope that flashes on Cirrha’s face is proof enough that this is the right thing to do, even if the methods we had to implement to get here are unsavory. I can damn my soul if it saves my people. “You can bring them back?” she whispers.
“Stone seems to believe so. He believes that we can bring Himureal back with Viola, and Himureal can break the banishment of the others. If that happens, the lands can be restored to their former glory. Magic will flow again, and humans and fae can coexist peacefully.”
“And you can be with Viola,” Cirrha muses softly, “if she’ll have you.”
I drop my arms to my lap. “I never said…”
She waves a hand at me. “You don’t have to. I have known you for thirty years now, Mace. During that time, you have never had a partner that I am aware of. You have poured over your paperwork and books all day and then gone to your home to read quietly. Since that woman got here, you have brought her into your arms, sat on the grass with her, gazed out your window to find her, and smiled unabashedly.” I feel the blush covering my face now, flushing my skin with the acknowledgment of the truth of her words. “Life is messy, Mace. It is messy, and long, and painful. If you can find someone who makes the mess fun, makes the length a blessing, and makes the pain bearable, you have something more valuable than anything else in this world.”
I choke over the lump in my throat, gazing at Cirrha with a multitude of emotions. I know she is speaking from experience. When her partner died two years ago, Cirrha was a shell of herself. She had loved Taret fiercely since they were children, and his death almost destroyed her. I was not sure if she’d ever be herself again. “Opening yourself up is scary, I know,” she continues. “But you deserve the happiness you have always fought for for our people.”
Standing, I move to her and pull her into a squeezing embrace. She squeaks at the intensity of my arms. “Thank you, Cirrha.” My voice is foreign to my own ears, clogged with emotion and fear for what is to happen tonight.
Pushing away from my chest and laughing, she shrugs. “You don’t need to thank me. It’s for the good of all of our people if you’re a little less intense.”
We both burst into laughter, and I lean against the wall, tracking my eyes over the books and paperwork I have shoved in every corner. “I guess you’re not wrong about that. What did you come in here for, anyways?”
Her face flashes guiltily. “I was coming to check on the status of the Equinox approvals.”
“Get out of my fucking office, Cirrha.”
And she does, laughing loudly on her way out the door.
Chapter 47
Viola
“Youcannotbeserious!”Tulip screeches, attempting to use anger to mask her fear. “You cannot use yourself as the vessel!”
I sit calmly at the table in our sleeping quarters, hands folded on the top. The shadow-snake, now an actual snake named Shadow, is curled around my neck like a collar. “I trust Mace, Tulip.”
“Mace told you you could die!”
I shrug. “Then I die. I think if anyone can survive it, it’s me. My ancestors had to have known what they were doing when they agreed to this.”
I was close to accepting my fate as the vessel before Mace appeared, beaten and bloody, on my doorstep. The more he spoke, the more I believed this was the right thing to do. Despite explaining all the good that will come to Krillium with the return of the Gods, Tulip still is not convinced.
“Zeph doesn’t think it’s a good idea! If he’s willing to hide you, you need to take him up on that.”
“Zeph also beat Mace half to death for kissing me.”
“I’m sorry, what? YoukissedMace Nightroot?”
