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I can’t tell if the fury in her voice is from kissing him or not telling her. Either way, my face flushes. “I’m just saying. Zeph’s motives may not be squeaky-clean.”
Tulip roughly pulls a chair out from the table, causing a screech on the floor. Shadow lifts his head and flicks his tongue out angrily. “That thing is exponentially creepier now,” she mutters.
“It’s not like I can stop him at this point. Shadow refuses to go.”
“You named it?” she asks incredulously.
“Yeah, why not. If he’s intent on being attached to me, I may as well give him a name.”
Tulip leans forward, face in her hands. “YoukissedMace Nightroot. Maybe your motives aren’t so clear either, Viola?”
I think about that for a moment. Have I made this decision because of the affection I have for Mace? I genuinely do not think so. I have tried to convince myself my feelings for Mace are mostly lust because lust wouldn’t hold a place in my decision-making.
But I cannot deny this unfamiliar feeling rising within me at the sound of his name.
Sitting back in my chair, I rest my clasped hands on my stomach. “Tulip, they’ve killed all the past winners in hopes of forcing a vessel into fruition. Stone killed this year’s winners to cover his tracks, something I intend to make him pay dearly for. I will never be able to live with myself if I don’t do this. When I do this, the Race can stop. Himureal can bring back the other Gods. There will be no more vessels, no more expendables, no more Race. I must do this. Even if I die, it will be worth it.”
I look up at my friend and see tears running down her face. The fat, hot tears fall silently to the tabletop. “I cannot lose someone else,” she whispers.
I didn’t consider how I would leave Tulip if I didn’t survive. She is surrounded by the ghosts of her loved ones, and I will potentially join their ranks. I lean across the table and clasp her hands with my own.
“I will talk to Mace. We will get you a home here in the city, and you can start a new life, Tulip. You can make friends, date, and fall in love. What was it Max said, that you do not have to spend your life in a fight, you can settle down and just exist. You can have a family.”
She sniffles loudly, attempting to steel herself. “You’re my family, Viola.”
Tulip and I have not known each other for very long. While it feels like so much time has passed since she stumbled into Max’s and my campsite, it’s only been maybe two weeks. Still, the draw to her was almost immediate, and since then, I have felt closer to her than anyone.
“I know, Tulip. And you’re my family, too. I care about you deeply and do not want to see you left alone. It’s why I’m going to fight hard to survive the ritual. Mace believes I can, and I do too. I need you to believe in me.”
Standing quickly, I move to her side of the table and pull her into my arms. She sobs onto my shirt, but I don’t mind one bit.
At nightfall, I make my way up the stairs to the main level of the Palace and navigate to Mace’s office. Unsurprisingly, he’s there, face in his hands. I slip through the door and close it behind me. The sound of the latch clicking makes his head rise.
“Viola? What are you doing here?”
I sit across from him and prop my feet on his desk, a cheeky reminder of my first time in his office. I changed before I came here, ditching the breezy shirt and shorts for the leathers I wore during the Race. I had them cleaned and asked some of the fae assisting us to repair them, and they were happy to oblige.
I need to feel powerful and brave for what I am going to do.
His eyes latch on my boots, and then he stares me down, a bemused smile twisting his lips. He points his finger toward the ground, and I slide my boots to the floor, happy to heed his unspoken command if it slows down the conversation I’m here to have.
We sit in comfortable silence as if not speaking will hold off the inevitability of what is to come tonight.
“Stone killed the winners, didn’t he?” I surprise myself with the words, far from my intended conversation when I walked through his doors.
Mace winces and buries his face in his hands, all amusement gone. “I tried to stop him, Viola. I really did. He threatened Tulip. I couldn’t be responsible for you losing someone else.”
My heart wrenches at the mere thought of Tulip no longer lighting the world up. “I would’ve made the same choice.”
He raises his head to look at me, desperation for forgiveness painted across his face. “I thought you would be furious that the deaths are still happening.”
“I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, don’t get me wrong. But I would slaughter hundreds to spare Tulip.”
As he looks at me, an emotion I can’t place flickers across his face. The silence hanging between us tells me it’s time to have the conversation I came here for. I’m surprisingly nervous. I thought this would be easier, that I would be ready by now. With a shaky breath, I tell him, “I’m here for the ritual, Mace. I’m going to be the vessel.”
Before my eyes, his face transforms from resignation to fear. “You can’t, I won’t let you.”
I glare at him. “You too? Trying to take my choice away?”
