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He looks at me, waiting silently. I have to give him something, to make him believe that I’m not this shell of a person like I feel. “We might as well. We don’t have anywhere else to go.”
Killian’s green eyes are dark, his expression grim. His shoulders are tense but he nods. Taking my hand in his, he leads me toward Linc and we follow him inside his dark apartment. It’s hard to make out any of the decor, but it doesn’t look like the slum type apartment you would imagine.
It’s clean and minimalistic with a modern touch. I run my hand along the back of the black leather couch as he leads us toward the bedrooms. He stops in front of one door, turning the knob before pushing it open. “Welcome home,” he says softly with a smile in his voice, but his lips stay flat. “Make yourselves at home. Don’t bother me until after two. I’m going back to sleep.”
“Thanks, man.” The genuine appreciation in Killian’s voice claws at my heart. I forget how much I’ve taken advantage of in life and how grateful my broken boy is to just have a place to lay his head down with a roof over his head. “Seriously, I don’t know how else to say it, but you’re a lifesaver.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Linc waves us away dismissively as a chuckle vibrates in his chest. “What’s mine is yours. Just the way it’s always been.”
Killian squeezes my hand softly, nodding at Lincoln in a silent understanding. The bond between them, even though they aren’t blood, is stronger than the one that I ever had with my own brother. It’s funny how trauma and going through a shitty life together brings people together like they’re family.
We watch Linc disappear into his bedroom down the hall before he shuts the door behind him. Killian and I step into our new space, flicking the light on as Killian kicks the door shut. It matches the rest of the apartment. There’s a matching bedroom set made of black wood with a plush queen-sized bed with white bedding. I sit down on the mattress, feeling as if I’m back at home, sinking into the soft material.
“His apartment isn’t what I expected,” I admit to Killian as he sets our bags down on the long dresser across the room.
“They must have renovated since I lived here,” he mumbles as he grabs the remote to turn the T.V. on that hangs from the wall. “This was my bedroom when I was a kid. I think the inside of a dumpster looked nicer than it did in here.”
My heart clenches, hurting with his admission. I pull back the thick comforter and settle underneath it, resting my head on the pillows as I motion for Killian to join me. The mattress dips under his weight and he lies down beside me, staring at the side of my face as I stare blankly at the TV.
“I love you with everything I have, Ainsley,” he murmurs as he brushes my hair from my eyes. “You know that, right?”
I turn my head to look at him and get lost in the deep green hues of his eyes. “I know,” I tell him softly, reaching out to touch his face. “I love you so much that it hurts.”
“There’s always beauty in the pain,” I tell him. “Our love is beautiful and there’s nothing that could ever tarnish that. We’re the only thing that matters and that alone is beautiful, even if loving each other hurts worse than anything we’ve ever experienced.”
Killian steals my lips with his. There’s desperation and urgency behind his movements as his hands skate over my body. It’s different than all of the other times that we’ve touched. The connection between us is so deep that our souls mold together.
But this, this is something much stronger. This is love and it hurts like hell. It’s a pain that I never want to escape. I want to live with this pain until the end of time. I want to be loved by him in this life and in the lives to come. Killian is it for me. And if I didn’t know it before, I know it now. It’s a concrete fact.
As deadly as our love is, we were made for each other.
Slowly, he strips me of my clothes until I’m naked, under his wandering gaze. There’s so much emotion in his eyes, I could get lost in the waves of the storm brewing inside them. He follows suit, losing his clothes. His lips find mine as his hands move across my body, touching and teasing with his fingertips. He slides his fingers down between my legs, pushing my legs apart as he teases my clit.
He slides his finger along my pussy before dipping it deep inside. He moves in and out, torturing me with his slow assault as he presses his thumb against my clit, moving it around in slow circles. Another finger slips inside, filling me even more as he works his hand against me. He drives me closer to the edge, just with his hand as he swallows my moans. His tongue dances with mine as they tangle with one another.
As I get closer to the edge, my legs begin to shake. My stomach tightens, the muscles in my pussy beginning to contract as the warmth spreads throughout my body. Just as I’m about to fall, he removes his hand and positions himself between my thighs.
He slides inside me, replacing his fingers with his cock as he continues the same slow torture. He slowly slides in and out, stopping with just the tip inside me. “I wanna make love to you, Ainsley. I want you to know how much I love you.”
“Make love to me, baby boy,” I murmur, wrapping my fingertips in his long hair. “Show me how it feels to be loved by you.”
His eyes search mine, the emotion washing over his bright green irises. His lips are soft and delicate as they land on mine. He gently slides back inside me, filling me as he goes in deep. It’s so much more than him being inside me. He fills me deeply with more than just his cock. He reaches into my chest, wrapping his hand around my heart as he rips it straight out of my chest.
This is what loving him feels like.
It fucking hurts, but it hurts so goddamn good. There’s no way that I could possibly escape him, even if I wanted to. I’m past the point of falling. I’m free floating, completely consumed by his love tangled up in my soul.
Killian takes his time, worshipping every inch of my body with his mouth as he continues to thrust in and out. There’s no urgency, there’s no rush. It’s as if we have all the time in the world, even though time is just an illusion.
I love this broken boy with every piece of my shattered heart. He completely shatters my soul with every heartbreaking touch. Tears fill my eyes, but there’s no sadness behind them. There’s nothing but love. There’s nothing but us.
The need within us grows at an alarming pace. I struggle to hold back as the euphoria builds and the warmth spreads throughout my body. Killian drives me closer to the edge of ecstasy, but he isn’t far behind.
His hips move faster as he thrusts his cock into me, with each one harder and deeper than the last. It’s like we’re both chasing this unattainable high, but it’s so close that we can almost touch it. Killian is the high that I need. He’s my drug of choice, even though I still use anything else that I can get my hands on.
Nothing comes close to touching what he does to me.
With one last thrust, my orgasm tears through my body. I cry out his name and he moans mine against my skin as he loses himself inside me. His love breathes life into me and we’re both flying, free falling through the sky, completely wrapped up in one another.
