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“I’m not. I’m just observant.”
I put away the dish and walk over to the table, resting my palms on top and leaning toward her. “Lady Jane,” I say. “I don’t have a problem with James. There is no grudge. I honestly didn’t know him very well. We weren’t together much. I was always with baby Madeline; he was always protecting Eddie. He was outside of their lives; I was in the middle of it. We’d be friendly when we saw each other, but that was usually in passing. Honestly. I don’t know James well, but I like him just fine, and I’m glad that he’s working for the prince and princess.”
I hold her eyes until it feels uncomfortable, and then she deflates, shoulders sinking. See, she wanted us to have a problem. What a drama queen.
“Oh, all right,” she says. “I guess I’m just imagining what’s not there.”
“That’s right. And I’m sure the two of us will be having many dinners together in the future.”
And with that I leave Lady Jane with her tea and head back down the hall to my room. I quickly use my en suite bathroom, then get into my pajamas and crawl into bed.
As I do so, the headboard of the bed jostles against the wall.
And then I hear a knock back.
Oh my god. James. His bed must be right up against mine. I’d gotten so used to having no one in that room.
“You up?” I hear very faintly through the wall.
Shit. How is it that I can hear him? How thin are the walls in this place?
I raise my fist, about to bang on the wall, but then stop myself. I don’t want him to think I can hear him, and I don’t want to start playing some silly game with him.
I turn around, more carefully this time, and switch off the light. I pull the covers up to my chin, totally conscious of even breathing now, hoping that I don’t snore.
“Good night, Laila.” His voice comes through the wall.
I put my pillow over my face.
Four
LAILA
Two years ago
“Good night, little princess,” I whisper to baby Madeline as she stretches her arms above her head, yawning deeply as her eyes flutter closed. A sense of relief pours through me, knowing she’s finally going to sleep. Duchess Monica is lucky that her daughter sleeps through the night, but I’ve never met an infant who rebels against her bedtime like Madeline does. Even though I’ve been putting her to bed at a reasonable hour every day this week, she’ll literally just lie in her crib and stare at me, as if I’m her entertainment and she’s waiting for me to do a dance, which of course I end up doing. I have to admit, it’s flattering to have a royal baby think the world of you, but I think she’s just working through the fact that her mother, who normally puts her to bed, has been gone every night this week. I know from experience that when the nanny first steps in, there are always a few growing pains, no matter the age of the child.
I give the plush rabbit I’m holding a squeeze, pressing it to my chest for a moment. I have no doubt there are a million nanny cams in Primrose Cottage, but all they would see is the new nanny holding on to the stuffed rabbit before giving it to the princess. They don’t see that the rabbit gives me comfort too.
I reluctantly place the rabbit in the crib with Madeline, who is finally fast asleep, and smile, then take in a deep breath and steady my nerves. It’s funny how free and real I always feel when I’m with the children in my care, but the moment I have to step away, the mask slides back on my face. I’ve only been working for the Duke and Duchess of Fairfax for a week, and while everything seems to have gone well, I’m eternally aware that with one slipup I could lose my job. Every time I start a new position I walk on eggshells for months, and with a high-profile role such as this one, the feeling is tenfold. Even though the Fairfaxes have been gone most of the week, traveling in the US for charity work, I know I have to uphold a good image in front of the rest of the staff. I guess I’m fortunate, in a way, that my bosses are gone my first week at work—I’ve always worked better without constant supervision or micromanaging—but to me that means I have to try even harder to act like I deserve this job, like this is a test of sorts.
You’re doing good, I remind myself as I pick up the baby monitor and step into the hallway, closing the door until it’s almost shut. Lately I’ve been trying to counter every negative thought that pops up with something encouraging, but in my brain it’s always easier to believe the negative.
I turn around and run right into someone tall and solid.
A scream dies in my throat as the person reaches out and grabs my shoulders.
“I’m so sorry,” a man says in a Scottish accent, and in the dimly lit hallway, it takes me a moment to realize this is James, one of Duke Eddie’s bodyguards. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
He lets go of me, and I take a step back, pressing my hand against my chest.
“I didn’t even hear you,” I say, trying to calm my heart.
“Side effect of the job,” he says in a light voice.
I’ve seen James before with the duke, but obviously when he’s working there’s no time for small talk. When he’s on duty he’s all brooding and stone-faced, but now that I see him close up, I realize he’s not as serious as I first thought. There’s a small scar running up the side of his face, drawing attention to his dark brown eyes, with a seductive slant. His full lips curl into a slow smile, and I notice how lush they are, his teeth perfectly straight and white.
“You always work so late?” he asks, his accent giving him a deep, raspy voice, the kind of voice that tickles some pleasure spot at the back of my brain.
