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We stayed like that for a while before sitting in one of my rocking chairs. Clara settled sideways in my lap, her feet tucked under one of my legs. She was in her pajamas—a tank top, floral pants, flip-flops on her feet.
I ran my hand along her leg, smiling at the cute little flower pattern. “You rushed over here, didn’t you?”
“A little. I stopped to ask Marina to listen out for Nellie. Maybe driving in my PJs wasn’t the best idea, but—”
“No, it was. I can pretend I’m going to take you inside and put you in my bed in a little while.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?” She sighed. “At least we have this.”
I slid my fingers through her silky hair, studying the way the shadows played on her face. In the dim porch light, I couldn’t see nearly enough of her, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.
“Thank you for coming over. I hadn’t expected it, and you’re exactly what I needed tonight.”
She slowly stroked my beard, her eyes darting between mine. “Did something happen?”
“Yeah. It did.” I held a strand of her hair between my fingers, rubbing my thumb back and forth over it. “Jeremy sold part of his shares of MZ last year and never told me. He purposely hid it from me. I didn’t find out until I ran into his investor today.”
“Shit,” she muttered. “Roman Wells.”
Closing my eyes, I nodded. “I guess your lawyers’ due diligence had turned that up.”
“Yes. I never would have guessed you didn’t know, though.”
“Before today, I wouldn’t have either. Never would have guessed my own brother would accuse me of wanting MZ to fail so I could go back to my old life.”
“That’s harsh. Wow.”
“Yeah. Messed me up to hear that from him.”
She leaned into me, gliding her hand from my beard to wrap around my neck. “He must know the sacrifice you made to be there with him instead of doing what you want. Every time you put on a suit instead of coveralls, you’re showing how committed you are despite it bringing you no joy. He knows that, doesn’t he?”
“I don’t need my job to bring me joy.”
“It would be better not to be miserable, I think.”
I cracked my eyes open. “‘Miserable’ is an overstatement. I want to be there with Jeremy.”
“I know you do. You made a sacrifice for him, but it doesn’t sound like he really appreciates it.”
“Doesn’t matter if he does. It’s what I have to do.”
“But why?” she whispered.
“Because I had a really good life where I could be whoever the hell I wanted. When I got Carly pregnant, my family rallied around me and promised we’d make it work. That was how it always was. But my brother—my own brother—didn’t have that. Where I had warmth and acceptance, all he got was cold and discipline. If he messed up, it was his obligation to fix it. Neither of us had done anything to earn the families we were born into. It was the luck of the draw, and his hand lacked in every way.”
There were a lot of reasons our grandfather gave Jeremy MZ and not his own son, our father. The main one, which went unsaid because we all knew it: Martin Hayes was a piece of shit. An angry drunk, a neglectful father, irresponsible with his money, he was no more capable of running a large corporation than a child. Jeremy had been molded for the position from his youth. Our grandfather had plotted his schooling, hobbies, and even the clubs he joined.
“You feel guilty,” Clara surmised.
“Yeah, I guess. But that’s not my biggest driving point. I’m there with Jeremy because he’s never faltered in being there for me. He could’ve hated me for everything I had, but he didn’t. He never turned on me or became resentful. He was at the hospital when Sage was born. He read baby books and helped me change diapers. Even now, he rarely misses one of her games. He’s there for me, so I’m gonna be there for him.”
“Okay.”
Her acceptance wasn’t easy. Her doubts rang out in her questions, but she chose to let it go. It was obvious she didn’t agree with my point of view, but it was just as obvious my mind was made up.
“Clara…” My lips touched her eyelids and the tip of her nose. “Thank you for letting it go. Don’t know how to say how much I appreciate you letting my reasons stand.”
“I didn’t come here to argue with you, baby.” She nuzzled my throat and jaw, sighing against my skin. “I like understanding you. I don’t have to always agree with you so long as I understand.”
