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“And you do?”
“Yeah,” she breathed. “I’m sorry your day sucked.”
I kissed her temple once, twice, three times. “I honestly don’t remember what made it suck so bad anymore. Not with you here.”
“I’m really, really glad I could be here for you.”
Something told me Clara would always be there when I needed her. It was who she was, what made her her.
We rocked for a while longer, content to be in each other’s arms without a lot of talking. When she had to go, it wasn’t easy. It never was. But these days, watching her drive away was becoming harder and harder.
Something had to change.
And it was up to me to figure out what that change would be.
Chapter Thirty-three
Clara
The honey guy looked incredibly disappointed Bea wasn’t with me today. He handed over our honey sticks with the glummest expression I’d ever seen on a man. It would have been funny if it weren’t a little sad.
As we walked away, Jake slid his arm around my waist. “What was up with that guy? He always looks like someone peed in his cereal.”
I snorted a laugh. “No. I think he was looking for Bea. Poor guy doesn’t know he’s better off she’s not here. She would chew him up and spit him right out.”
He chuckled. “I think that’s very true.”
Jake had been introduced to Bea and Shira during brunch at my place a few weeks ago. To me, it had been interesting to see three distinctly different people get to know one another. Jake had been gentle with Shira, and once he’d gotten the feel of Bea, he hadn’t let her give him any guff.
Before they left, Shira had said she liked him very much, and Bea had shrugged. “He’s nice to Nellie, and he’s smart enough to see your value. So what if he’s chronically good-looking? Not everyone can be perfect.”
From Bea, that was the highest of praise. Had she ever met Miller, she would have laughed him out of the room. Then again, if Miller had still been around, I would have been a different person and truly doubted I would have been open to a friendship with Bea or have grown as close to Shira.
I would never voluntarily choose to go through everything I had because of Miller, but deep down, I knew it had been worth it. Look what I have now.
“Jake!” Nellie called from her stroller. “Out, please?”
“Peas,” I murmured.
Jake grinned at me. “She’ll start saying it the right way far too soon.”
“Don’t remind me. I can’t think about her being Sage’s age.”
Jake unbuckled Nellie from her stroller and put her feet on the ground. She shook her head, holding her arms out to him.
“Up, please,” she demanded sweetly.
He scooped her up without hesitating. “Like this or higher?”
She kicked her feet excitedly. “Higher. I wanna go up.”
Jake had the dad maneuver down, plopping her on his shoulders like he’d done it a thousand times. Knowing him, he’d probably had Sage up there until she’d gotten too big and independent. Thinking about that made my stomach twist wistfully. For what, I wasn’t sure.
We strolled around the farmers’ market, buying fruit and veggies for the week and looking at craft vendors. Jake bought Nellie a doll matching the one Shira had given her since she’d claimed she needed it and me a bouquet of flowers he’d claimed I needed.
By the time he got to the cheesemonger, he’d slipped Nellie off his shoulders and into his arms. She was getting tired but refused her stroller and frankly wanted nothing to do with me when she could have Jake. Her head rested on his chest, and her little body was nestled firmly against him. He carried her around like it was no big deal, but my heart was a wild thing, wanting to leap out and claim this man as our own. The pit in my gut echoed with panic though, because he wasn’t ours to keep.
“Daddy?”
