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“Those kids are assholes.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I cover my mouth with my hand, and Lexi smiles softly.
She nods. “They are,” she whispers. I bite back a smile and pull her into a hug again.
“Lexi, this is your home. I don’t want you to ever worry about if I’m going to send you away because I’m not. Okay?” I feel her head nod.
“I love you, Addie.”
“I love you, too, Lexi.”
After she showers and I tuck her in bed, her words stick in my head. Give her away? Is that always in the back of her mind? My stomach knots at the thought. Those fucking brats, putting ideas like that in her head.
I walk into my bedroom and spot Aiden on the bed. He’s relaxing on my bed, reading something on his phone. I let out a small growl in frustration and slam my phone down on my dresser. He lowers his phone and stares at me.
“What’s wrong?” he asks slowly and sits up. I shut the door so Lexi can’t hear me talking.
“I’m seriously about to go ape shit on some five-year-olds.”
“Do you need backup?” He smirks.
“This isn’t funny,” I snap. He holds his hands up to say sorry, but I’m so furious that I don’t wait for his apology. “Some little shits from school told Lexi that she didn’t have parents and that we were going to give her away if she did something bad.” Aiden’s eyes bulge open, and he does a double-take. My thoughts exactly. I start pacing the room, wrapping my arms around my stomach as my emotions start to bubble up. She’s not here temporarily, dammit. Why hasn’t she talked to me about this?
I stop walking, lean against my dresser, and dig my palms into my eyes. I don’t hear Aiden get up, but I feel his arms wrap around me. He buries his face in my neck. I take a few deep inhales and exhales to gather my thoughts.
I can fix this. “I want to start the adoption process,” I whisper into his ear. He pulls his head back and smiles down at me. His eyes shine from the light of the lamp. He wants this, too. I’ll make sure she knows she’s ours. Forever.
“I’ll have Jaxon start the paperwork.”
“And on Monday, I’m going to need backup.”
Chapter fifteen
Aiden
I’m a man.
I’m a fucking FBI agent.
I’ve been in some of the worst situations undercover and still stayed in control. Even when the words “she’s gone” came out of Addison’s mouth, I didn’t panic. I can’t say I wasn’t scared because I live in a world where I see the worst in people. I see the people who prey on the innocent, hiding in corners, waiting for the perfect moment to inflict their worst pain. But I remained calm until we found her.
Not now. I’ve been brought to my knees with three little words out of the mouth of a five-year-old. Give her away. Someone kicked the ground out from underneath me and the control that I crave came tumbling down with me. My initial thoughts were to go hunt down some five-year-olds. Make them pay for the pain they caused Lexi. Irrational, I know. If it hadn’t been for the hurt in Addison’s eyes, I would have been on a mission. Like I said, no control.
What kind of shit nugget kids say that anyway? The ones who grow up and hide in corners, that’s who. They’re just starting early in life. I haven’t stayed the night at Addison’s place when Lexi has been there, but tonight I’m making the exception. If I leave here, I can’t promise I won’t go hunt down some little people.
So, here I lie on the couch, my feet propped up on the end of the armrest, and I can’t sleep. I hear cars randomly drive by as I stare up at the ceiling. My thoughts keep taking me to how I’m going to deal with the shit nuggets. One thing is for sure, I’ll be making a visit to my favorite principal on Monday.
Tomorrow, though, I’m going to make sure Lexi knows that she’s wanted and loved. And when she falls, I’ll always be there to catch her. I wish I could tell her the only thing we’re giving away is the word foster and replacing it with forever. That would fix a lot of insecurities she’s feeling. I sigh, running my hand through my hair. Jax tells me not to because of all the due diligence crap that goes along with adoption and the possibility that we won’t be approved. For that reason alone, I won’t be the one to give her false hope. It will crush her if it doesn’t happen. For now, we’re just going to have to show her how much we love her.
***
“Why don’t we just keep the door open?” I ask Addison. Every time we shut it, there’s a knock at the door and I have to stop what I’m doing and go answer it.
“Because I don’t want random people coming in here.”
“Who walks into a little girl’s birthday party in the middle of the day, uninvited?” We’re in Addison’s apartment, and we gave the approved guest list to security so they are only letting them up so it can’t be just anyone. And there are two FBI agents, an ex-agent who looks like the Hulk, a cop, and then there’s Jaxon. Four out of the five us are carrying a gun. I think we’re safe in here.
“I would just feel better keeping it closed.” She bites her lip, worry still reflected on her face. I can tell by the circles under her eyes she didn’t get much sleep last night either. I pull her into my chest and wrap my arms around her.
“Sorry,” I whisper.
