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“Thank you for not being angry with me,” I muttered, hugging him close to me as much as I could without creasing the dress. We both knew why I expected that of him.
“Never angry with you, Tricia. You’ve never disappointed me. We’ve made mistakes in life, your mom too, although you’d have had a hard job getting her to admit to that fact. What she did to you is unforgiveable.”
Since he’d learned about Erin, Dad had blamed himself for being too busy to notice I hadn’t been okay, but I had to accept the blame of hiding from him during that time as well.
“As hard as it is, I’m working to reconcile my past and I’m looking forward to my future with James and Erin. When I turned sixteen, I could never have imagined my life would have turned out the way it has, but it is what it is, and now I’m here,” I remarked, gesturing toward myself as I stood all dolled up in my wedding gown. “Be glad for me, Dad, I am. Today is the happiest day of my life.”
My dad took my hand, lifted it to his mouth, and kissed it softly. “You know better than most how we can plan for the future but events take a turn and change everything. But I believe you did great finding James. That man you have chosen to spend your life with will always do his best never to let you down. As a father, I couldn’t ask for anything more for my daughter.” A wide smile curved my lips because he was right.
Lorna knocked on the door, pushed it open a tad, and poked her head around it. “Wow, Tricia, you look incredible. James is going to be …” she sighed and shook her head. “Like me, lost for words.” She chuckled. “I just came to tell Billie the little ones are all dressed and ready. Do you want me to take them down to the car?” she asked, looking past me to Billie.
“Can you just give us a minute?” Billie replied, and took my father to one side to remind him of some last minute details.
I smiled as I watched them huddle together over the piece of paper my father had in his hand. I turned back to the mirror and looked at myself again. What I saw was a happy woman. Radiant for once, with a vibrant glint in my eyes, and most importantly, I appeared calm. The woman looking back at me was mature, she’d been through a lot, but somehow, I appeared at peace.
“Ready, sister?” Billie asked, as she slipped her hand into mine and glanced past me to my reflection again. “Stunning,” she mumbled, and I turned to look at her.
“I’ll do,” I replied, but there was a smugness in my tone that let her know I was contented with how I looked.
Turning to address my dad she said, “All right, Lester, this is your big moment. Try not to fall over and if you lose your footing, remember to let go of your daughter’s hand. We don’t want a bride covered in sand.” We all laughed, and she grabbed me, kissed my cheek, kissed my dad on the cheek, and made her way toward the door.
“See you in twenty minutes … that’ll be late enough. Brynn burns in the sun,” she added and winked.
“She’s a great friend to you,” my dad stated, after Billie had left the room.
“She’s incredible. I don’t know where I’d be without her,” I replied.
“True, because you wouldn’t be here, standing in a wedding dress.” I turned and looked at my dad. His comment had been so spontaneous, but I nodded, acknowledging had I never met Billie, I wouldn’t have met James either.
“Very true. I owe her and Sawyer almost as much as I owe James for taking a basket case like me on as a friend. Those Wild men love broken women. Maybe it’s another kink that they have,” I replied.
“James is into kink?” my dad replied. “He isn’t one of those Fifty Shades of Grey people, who use whips, chains, and ball gags, is he?”
I coughed and spluttered at those words coming out of my dad’s mouth and a smile curved my lips. I bit it back and stared at my dad, giving the seriousness of his question some weight. “Being kinky doesn’t always involve tying people up and beating them with a whip or a paddle, Dad.”
“Jesus, Tricia, I’m in my eighties, there’s not a lot you could teach me about kinky sex.” I laughed so hard at his comment and dabbed at the happy tears that sprang to my eyes with the pads of my fingertips.
“Dad … don’t … just don’t, okay? This is my wedding day and you’re my dad. I don’t need the distraction of wondering what that statement means coming from you,” I replied, wrinkling my nose.
He chuckled wickedly. “Kink with your mom, usually involved me stacking the dishwasher wrong and watching her get pissed and flustered when she pulled it all out again and restacked it.” We both burst out laughing and he slid his arm in mine. “Come on, baby girl, we don’t want your new husband to get heatstroke from the sun and ruin your fun-filled night.”
“Dad!” I exclaimed, scolding him again and shook my head. “Now I’ll be thinking of you thinking that,” I admonished. “Just take me to the beach and on to that pagoda without talking to me anymore.” Dad chuckled, grinned at me, and squeezed my hand. “You look beautiful, James is a lucky man.”
“I’m going to take that compliment and try to erase the conversation that we had right before it,” I mumbled, as we walked toward the bedroom door. My dad snickered to himself, but never said anything else.
The afternoon sun was sweltering hot by the time we left the house at 3:55 p.m. for the ten-minute ride over to Peconic Beach Tennis Club. A fleet of white limousines had already transported the girls and Billie, James, Sawyer, and James’ best friend, Josh, and Hammer. Harriett and Ronnie travelled separately on the short journey to the club’s private beach. Meanwhile, a short luxury coach took the rest of the family.
We had a small and very intimate number of people in attendance, which was exactly how James and I had wanted our event to be.
The journey along Private Row from James’ parents’ house to the tennis club gave me just enough time to reflect on my relationship with James, as I stared out at the azure blue of the calm Atlantic Ocean to my left.
For most of my life since, I’d controlled my world as my way of coping, by putting barriers in place and making decisions I’d thought would minimize my risk of being hurt in that way again. However, none of that had prepared me for when I’d met James.
Until him, I’d always stayed in charge of how I felt. No man, no matter how handsome, had ever gotten past that wall of steel I’d surrounded myself with. There had been many who had tried, yet James had stealthily captured my heart effortlessly.
I was terrified of how quickly James Wild had consumed my thoughts, even before we’d kissed, but after the night we slept together, I kept telling myself it was lust.
Of course, it wasn’t. Lust doesn’t make your heart hurt when it’s reciprocated, it makes it feel euphoric.
