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“Did you or did you not go to Walgreens two towns over and take a pregnancy test?”
“Walgreens? Pregnant—me? No. Although I’m not in the least bit surprised someone concocted that lie up, considering all the rumors that’ve been flying around about me; mostly started by you, I might add. I was extremely foolish and trusted you.” I shrugged. “We slept together, I can’t deny that, but you took advantage of my situation. I thought we were friends, Donnie, and I’m devastated that you ran around telling everyone. Given all the ways I tried to help you, I can’t believe you’d do that to me.”
The smug look he’d been wearing suddenly fell from his face like he had an attack of guilt with my words. I had no idea how I continued to walk and behave like I had no idea about there being any baby. Inside my heart felt as if it had been about to explode in my chest with every step I took. I had wanted to scream at him that the condom he’d been so quick to get rid of had failed, but I kept my mouth shut.
Mom had been dropping me off and picking me up from school every day since my first day back, her desperation to keep my condition a secret had made her hypervigilant of me. That day she’d had an appointment at the doctor’s office and I’d had to go home on the bus.
“You didn’t answer my question, are you having a baby?”
“Where exactly did you hear that?”
“My aunt… she happens to work in that Walgreens. She told my mom she’d helped a young girl and told her she thought it was you.”
“Well, she was wrong. Do I look pregnant to you?” I asked, lifting my hoodie, which I could do as my belly was still flat. “See, I’m not pregnant, thank God, I couldn’t imagine anything worse than having a kid that was yours.”
Unfortunately, the rumors persisted for a bit, then someone else did something foolish and the spotlight was passed on to them.
If I’d thought those fall and winter semesters back in high school had been torturous for me, they were a piece of cake compared to the nightmare that came my way with spring when my once resilient emotional wealth, confidence, and self-worth were almost completely destroyed by the traumatic ordeal my mother forced me to face.
Sixteen and pregnant would have been a devastating event for most young girls, but I’d spent most of my time at home in the previous months, in isolation thanks to my mother.
No girl in my position should have had to endure the constant pressure of hiding a pregnancy from my classmates and family, and my mom and Donnie’s contribution to my plight had added suffering and shame to the frightening position I had found myself in.
Chapter Thirteen
After lying awake for most of the night reliving my past, I sighed heavily and felt surprised that I somehow felt less affected by the memory since Erin had come back into my life. When I recognized that fact, I took another cleansing breath and that time, when I exhaled again, I felt the tightness that gripped my chest ease.
I turned over to face James and slid my hand over his waist. He stirred in his sleep, his hand slipping from under the comforter to rest on my head. His steady breaths fanned my face and I instantly felt the rest of my tensions dissipate as I stared at him in the dark.
I loved him deeply, barely believing how my life had turned out since I’d gone all-in with him. James was the love of my life and to think I had almost missed what we had, tugged at my heart.
My thoughts turned to my family, now minus one since my mom was gone, and another wave of relief mingled with anticipation came over me. With Marnie sharing my secret, only one more person needed to know for me to finally free myself from the torturous fear of my family finding out.
* * *
Soft lips pressed against mine and I inhaled deeply as my eyes fluttered open. James stood over me, freshly showered, in a clean T-shirt and jeans, and holding a cup of fresh coffee. My gorgeous man fresh from the shower was my favorite fragrance in the world, and I inhaled deeply when he’d bent forward and kissed me softly again on the lips as part of my wake-up call. Stretching leisurely, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned.
“Morning, beautiful,” he murmured, quietly with his heartbreaker smile. “Yesterday must have wiped you out. You were dead to the world when I got up an hour ago.” He winced at his reference to death. Dawn had been breaking by the time I fell asleep, but I’d felt no need to burden him by telling him that.
Clumsily I pulled myself up, adjusted my pillows, and sat back against the headboard. Taking the cup of coffee from him, I took a sip of the steaming black liquid. “Mm, I need this.”
“Tough day, yesterday. Marnie just told me she and Franco are moving in with your dad for a while.”
“They are?” I felt relieved he wasn’t going to be on his own.
“Yeah, I was suggesting he come to New York for a while, but Marnie told me they had him covered. It makes sense since Franco is around during the day so he can take Lester for rounds of golf or to the firing range. They also both love Indy car racing so they’ll watch that on TV. I think they have plenty to distract your dad and keep him busy for a while. Marnie has given instructions to go home and deal with whatever you have going on, call your dad twice a week to check in, and come for dinner on a Thursday night, when you’re back in New Jersey.”
To know James had been willing to look after my father was further confirmation as to what an amazing man he was. “You’d have had my dad stay?”
“Of course, he’s your father,” he replied, and sat on the bed beside me. The upward affection in his tone made it sound like that was the only explanation necessary.
I reached out with my free hand and cupped his cheek in my palm. “Thank you. It sounds as if they have a handle on things. It’s still going to be a struggle walking out of the door and leaving him behind, today.”
“Yeah, I know, baby, but he’s got Marnie and Franco, he’ll be well cared for and isn’t going to be alone.”
I nodded, swallowing back a swell of emotion and looked into his trusting eyes. “Right. It’ll give Marnie time to absorb what I’ve told her as well.” James caught me in a concerned stare and searched my face.
“Marnie really is okay about Erin. She thanked me, for helping you both and for taking care of you.”
