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“Feel this?” I asked, knowing she could feel my heartbeat. “My body wants you.” Next, I slid her hand to my temple. I never stop seeing images of you in here.” After this I placed her palm over my raging erection. “And this is a permanent feature when those thoughts come to mind,” I replied with a wink. “Never underestimate my feelings for you. I could say the same to you—why me? But we already agreed to let love rule and not think about anything else, don’t you agree?”
She nodded. “I do, it’s just every now and then I get—”
“Mind fucked. You sometimes get debilitated by thoughts from your old life, darlin’. I’m the one you’re with now and you are my whole world, so this conversation is over.” I bent and kissed her, my tongue gliding along the seam of her lips until they parted with a moan and she let me enter.
The explosive chemistry we shared wreaked havoc within me, an effect from the time we’d spent apart, and my cock stretched uncomfortably against the confines of my jeans as I grabbed at the hem of her small flimsy blouse and yanked it up over her head. Some of her long hair spilled from the sexy updo she wore and I released the rest when I tugged at the tie that held it in place. My lust for her intensified from the moment I saw her sexy dark brown curls cascade loosely over her shoulders.
Grabbing a fistful of hair ,I leaned forward to kiss her again when she shoved my T-shirt up my body. Two seconds later it was on the floor and my arms were back around her, my lips were back on hers. Moving my palms down her warm, bare back, my fingertips breached the loose waistband of her dress pants.
Scoring her long fingernails down my back, Billie reached around for my belt, undid the buckle with the skill of a hooker and unzipped my pants.
Before she got any farther, I dipped my knees and swept her up into my arms. “Eek,” she squeaked at my sudden move, as I spun her around and walked down the hallway looking for the bedroom.
As soon as I saw the huge bed, I flopped her down onto it and immediately pulled off her pants. Wearing only a tiny pair of panties, she lay staring up at me with a look of desperation on her face. When our eyes connected the pull to be inside her almost proved too much.
For the following three hours we were lost in one another, seeking and taking pleasure, until we’d exhausted all those pent-up feelings we’d harboured since I’d left for the tour. Afterward, we laid drenched in sweat, a serene silence between us, and dozed on and off for an hour.
“How would you feel if I said I wanted to have a baby?”
My eyes sprang open and I stared at the ceiling for a few moments, absorbing her question, before I turned on my side to look into her eyes.
“Don’t do it for me, Billie,” I ordered, even though my heart raced at the thought of her carrying my child.
“Oh, I wouldn’t. Most women would want to give a partner a child of their own in our circumstance, but that’s not the only reason I’m asking.”
“Then why?”
“Because I don’t want to regret us not having a child together,” she shrugged, “because I’d like a child we made together, and also I’d like us to have a sibling for Colby. Also, I think it would show my commitment to not being scared to be with you.”
My chest felt tight and a lump grew in my throat. I tried to tamp down how she’d moved me and tried to appear less excited than I actually felt inside. “Then I’d be thrilled if this is what you genuinely want. You know I don’t care about the biology side of things,” I reiterated, still not one-hundred-percent sure her decision wasn’t an unselfish act on my behalf alone. I’d have hated for her to feel this was necessary, because I’d rather have had her happy than miserable with another child to care for.
“Then that’s settled,” she said, matter-of-factly and pressed a kiss to my chest.
“No, darlin’, I want you to tell me this again when I get back from this tour. This is a huge decision to make. We’ve done everything else in a heartbeat, thanks to me, but this one, I’d rather you had plenty of time to think about the decision you’re making. Don’t get me wrong, nothing would give me more pleasure than to make a baby with you, but this time, I want you to consider what this means. I don’t want my wife leaving my child and going back to work full time. This isn’t me laying down the law like some guy from the ‘60s, I just feel strongly that we, as parents, should take care of our babies, not sitters or anyone else.”
“I know this, and I didn’t really have a choice with Colby. I had to work to help pay the mortgage.”
“Then there’s this,” I held my hands out gesturing at the rental we had to catch some time together. “me out on the road and you stuck at home with two children to care for.”
“I’ve thought about that as well. Personally, I think it would make me feel better to have someone else to take care of when you are away.”
“Okay, then if you’re really serious, we’ll give this consideration when I get home.”
A flash of disappointment flitted across her face, but from where I sat I felt I was doing the right thing for all of us. Apart from Colby, there were my absences from home to consider, and where I wouldn’t have minded her having help, I didn’t want my child to be looked after by anyone other than us.
Obviously, when I was home, I knew I’d be happy to be a stay-at-home dad, but all things considered, we’d been apart for a couple of weeks, and we’d just made love for hours. I wanted to be one hundred-percent-sure this was what Billie wanted for herself as much as for me, and she hadn’t felt pressured into giving me a child because she thought this was necessary or essential to our future relationship.
Following our conversation, I thought my wife was a little subdued by my response. When I considered how I’d handled her question about having a baby, I knew she must have been confused by my muted response. Thankfully, I was playing that night so she never had the chance to dwell on our conversation, as we had to get out of bed and be ready for me to get to the venue.
As we were leaving the house, Billie placed her hand on my bare forearm. Smiling up at me she raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
Glancing at the door then back at her, I shrugged. “I don’t think so.”
“Max? Have you packed Max?” I snickered.
“Erm, after the afternoon we’ve just had?”
It was her turn to shrug. “And?” she asked raising an eyebrow.
I chuckled and shook my head. “Maybe tomorrow, I’m drained after that and I’ve a show to perform.”
“And I was working with numbers and people’s finances? Are you saying your work is more important than mine?” she pressed.
Shaking my head again, I stepped back inside the house and went to my overnight bag. Taking out the tube-like canister from the bag, I stuffed it into the small duffle bag I had and went back to the door.
“You drive a hard bargain, pretty lady.”
“Yeah, and don’t you forget it,” she muttered, slipping her arm into mine as I led her toward the car.
