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Chapter Twenty-Four
For the sake of Colby, we somehow managed to get Christmas back on track, playing with his toys, engaging him in a game of Jenga, and playing all the silly games people suddenly remembered during the festive season, like Charades and a chocolate Santa treasure hunt.
It was almost 8:00 p.m. by the time Colby asked to go to bed; the combination of having gotten up so early and his excitement throughout the day had worn him out. Feeling benevolent toward Logan for the effort he had made with our son, I invited him to tuck Colby into bed.
Staying downstairs and out of their way, I made a fresh pot of coffee and was placing two cups on the counter when my cell phone rang. Nerves built in my chest when I saw it was Sawyer. It felt weird that Logan was in my home and I hadn't had time to let Sawyer know.
"Hey," he said, the warmth in that one word wiping a lot of the hurt I'd felt during the day.
"Hi. Did you have a good day?" I asked, placing the glass carafe back on the heating element of the machine.
"It would have been much better if you guys had been here, but it was as good as it gets without you two. I've told my family all about you and everyone is looking forward to meeting you," he confessed cheerily, right as Logan came down the stairs and walked toward the kitchen.
"Goodness, now I'm nervous," I confessed, in part thinking about meeting Sawyer's family, thinking about our age difference again, and at the same time eyeing my ex-husband warily as he slid onto the breakfast stool directly in front of me.
"Listen, this isn't a great time, can I call you back later? Colby has just this second gone to bed."
"Sure," Sawyer replied, this time, hesitant in his reply. I knew my excuse sounded lame.
"Okay, text me if you go to bed before I get back to you."
"Billie, is everything okay?" he asked, his voice laced with suspicion. My heart squeezed because I didn't feel prepared to get into an explanation of the day's events with my ex-husband sitting in front of me. I knew the confrontation was the part of a relationship I struggled with, and although I had come on a long way, having the source of my anguish right there in the room felt like too much.
"Yeah, just been a full day. I need to finish cleaning up and catch my breath."
"Ah, sure. Okay. I'd forgotten it's all on you when there are so many hands here fighting to help with that kind of thing. I'll let you go. Call me back when you get into bed. It's never too late here, and during the holidays we're all up for most of the night."
"Will do," I replied, my gaze falling to Logan who sat resting his elbows on the countertop, examining his hands.
"Billie?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you, darlin'," Sawyer added in a low, seductive voice.
My heart stuttered, but I pushed past the guilty feeling that struck me just because Logan was in earshot. "I love you too, Sawyer."
After hanging up the call, I placed my cell on the counter and watched for Logan's response. His narrowed eyes widened as he glared at my cell before he turned his focus back on me.
"Coffee?" I asked, my tone even despite my erratic heartbeat. It wasn't easy to tell Sawyer I loved him in front of the man I had vowed to love in sickness and in health and forsaking all others for as long as I lived. I had taken my marriage seriously, but I reminded myself that was in the past.
Maybe I hadn't been the perfect wife from Logan's point of view, but I had never looked at another man until I met Sawyer.
"Does he make you happy?" he asked, quietly.
"Yes. Very," I stated, without a hint of malice or spite. A stony silence stretched between us lasting more than a minute.
"If it's serious, why hasn't he made any attempt to be more to you?"
I frowned, wondering what he was getting at before I remembered he thought Sawyer and I had been together much longer than we were.
"We're happy with the pace," I lied, because from my perspective I'd fallen deep and fast, and could easily go all-in if not for Colby, and me being afraid of being hurt again.
"You think it will last? I mean he's a lot …"
"Younger? That is what you were going to say, isn't it?
He nodded. "I suppose. I just don't want you to get hurt."
