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I scoffed, and couldn't help the laughter that spilled out. "You are just too much, Logan Drummond. What a hypocrite."
"Maybe, but I'm talking from experience."
"Experience? What is it you're trying to say? Because it's been a long day and I'm not into having cryptic conversations with you. I've tried so hard to make you feel welcome today, but make no mistake—the civility was for Colby's sake, not yours."
"I wasn't being rude. I never realized how difficult it is to live with someone younger. Being in the same job, I thought we'd have a lot in common to talk about, but we don't."
"What are you saying?"
"Poppy and me … after New Year's is over, we're taking a break."
"A break? What does that even mean? What does it mean for Colby?"
"She told me before she left for her parents that she needed some time to think, but I have a feeling she's seeing someone else." My heart stopped for the umpteenth time that day. What does he expect? Am I supposed to comfort him?
"Excuse me? Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? What is this? Were we just a shoulder to cry on today?"
"Fuck, give me some credit, Billie. It's Christmas Day. I missed you both."
"And there it is: 'I.' It's always all about you. Poor you. You screwed me over and I'm supposed to take pity on you?" I asked, grabbing a dishcloth and wiping the faucet down over and over again. "You know what I've realized right now? There were times when I felt sorry for you today. Pity—not love—and not regret that we didn't have this anymore. My only regret is that it took you so long to figure out you didn't want us."
"I do want Colby, and you. I want you both. God, if I could turn back time—"
"Well, you can't, and I'm glad about that. I've found a man who sees me, a man who's patient and attentive and that I have an incredible connection with."
"He's a boy in comparison to you." His words felt like a knife to my chest.
"No! He's a man in comparison to you. The way he makes me feel has taught me what I'd been missing in my life with you."
"Sex? You think because he fucks you good, he's going to care for you when you're old?"
"Out. Get out!" I hissed. My eyes darted to the stairs to ensure Colby wasn't hearing any of our vile conversations.
"You weren't interested in sex when you were with me."
"It wasn't that I wasn't interested Logan, it was that you never took the time to turn me on. How long was our longest lovemaking session? Fifteen, twenty minutes?"
"Stop it," he ground out.
"No. You brought us to this, so let's have it out. Sawyer isn't interested in my age and I'm saying this again, he sees me. Me. And he's amazing with Colby. You should see how your son comes to life when Sawyer's with him."
"That's my son you're talking about."
"Then remember it when he visits. Sitting him in front of a gaming console while you argue with your partner isn't his idea of fun. He wants to learn, and you are supposed to be one of the top professors in the country. Does he have to wait until he's entered into the world of higher education for him to be worthy of your time?" Logan shook his head.
"You're making a fool of yourself. I have to say, I'm surprised he's still hanging in there. Just don't come crying to me if he moves in, marries you, and then wants half of everything you've got."
"See, this is where your mind is underdeveloped. You've spent so much time going to school, you've never experienced life or lived in the real world. Your environment has been so stilted in comparison to Sawyer's, and you have no idea about the man I am with."
"Oh, next you'll be telling me he's all that."
"Exactly. He is. Sawyer is a self-sufficient musician, a homeowner, a son, brother, uncle and most of all, he's an amazing boyfriend. He knows exactly what he's gotten himself into, and he's not the kind of man who would intentionally hurt me."
"Is there such a thing as a financially sound musician?" He winced when I flashed him a death glare and smoothed the velvet material of our couch in one direction. "I never intended to hurt you, Billie. I never meant to let things get out of hand with Poppy."
"There's that 'I' again. I wasn't talking about you, we were talking about Sawyer." My put-down temporarily stunned him, giving us both time to think. For a start, I knew he'd had too much wine. He'd had at least three glasses during dinner and two more while we were playing games. I knew he couldn't drive, he lived an hour away and that getting a taxi of any kind on Christmas night would be either extortionate or practically impossible.
"Look, I'm sorry. I guess we're both still harboring unresolved feelings from the past. You're right, your thing with Sawyer is none of my business, but I can't help feeling protective—"
