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Kayla covers her mouth with her hand. “Shit.”
I nod my agreement.
“Well, what now? You have your memories back; you know why you left in the first place. How are you feeling now? I mean, you’re practically in the same position as you were nine years ago.”
I rub my hand across my stomach.
“I know.” My voice is low, almost a whisper, but it’s still heavy with meaning.
I’m fully aware that I’m in the same exact place I was nine years ago when I chose to run.
“What are you going to do, Tanya?”
I place my head in my hands, too exhausted, emotionally and physically to hold it up any more.
“I don’t know, Kayla. I have no idea what to do.”
I feel her hand on mine as she takes it away from my face and holds it.
“Look at me.” She waits until I do, her eyes serious and determined.
“Are you having second thoughts about marrying him now? Do you want to go back to Willow Creek permanently?”
I look back and forth between her eyes, trying to find the right answer in them.
“I love him, and the way he was these last few months after finding out what happened and being so patient with me made me love him even more.”
I stop to think about how to say this next part.
“But?”
“But I don’t know if I can do it. His world has always been so overwhelming for me. He’s had to work so hard to keep everyone away from us after he found us. I don’t know if I can raise a child, let alone two, in this world.”
I wish I could just see into the future to know how things will be if I stay with Chandler.
“Do you want my advice?”
“Please. I am desperate for someone to just tell me what to do.”
She raises an eyebrow at me and twists her mouth to the side, telling me that there is no way she’s going to do that.
“I think you need to take the week back in Willow Creek and think about everything. This is a big moment. You have your memories back and now have two lives you have to figure out how to mesh together. That isn’t something you are going to be able to figure out in one day. Then, I think you need to have a serious conversation with Chandler. These are his kids too. You can’t just leave.”
She’s right, and we both know it. A knock sounds on the door, and before she can open it, I know it’s Chandler. She lets him and Sophia in and leaves to go change.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
Chandler walks over to my side, kisses me on the head, then leans down and kisses my stomach.
“Good morning, baby boy.”
Tears well up in my eyes, and I push them back before either of them can see me cry. Sophia giggles and comes over, wrapping her arms around me and putting her face into my stomach.
“Good morning, baby brother! Good morning, Mommy!”
I lean down to kiss her forehead, and then give Chandler a look.
“Good morning, baby. You know, your daddy could be wrong, and you could be having a baby sister.”
