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She sighed in relief as they headed to Jason’s car. “Well, that was a crazy night. Should we—”
“Let’s head home. I’ll drop you off.”
She frowned. “Already?” She looked at her watch. “We could get ice cream or—”
“Not tonight. I’m sorry, I just can’t.”
It was painfully quiet all the way to her house. It was a relief not to feel like she had to carry the conversation anymore. Her head spun as she replayed the encounter over and over in her mind. Blood pulsed in her ears, but she couldn’t get herself to calm down. When she closed her eyes, she saw the guy angrily glaring at her, tightly holding her arm. Instinctively, she held the spot the man had grabbed.
Once Jason parked in her driveway, he turned off the car. “I’m sorry I didn’t... I should’ve been the one to push him off of you. I shouldn’t have moved in the first place.”
Is that what had been bothering him? “That guy would’ve hurt you more than me,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter.” He gripped the steering wheel. “If I can’t protect you, then what can I do? You saw the way that guy looked at me... like I was a good-for-nothing loser.”
“You’re not a loser. You have a touch sensitivity.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t know that. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to the point where I can defend you. Not that you needed it tonight.”
She sighed and pressed her lips together. “Please don’t let this get you down.”
“How can I not?”
“He attacked me, not you. And yet you’re the one who’s taking it the worst.”
“How can I not? I should’ve protected you. Instead, I just sat there in my fear, worried about being touched the wrong way. That’s exactly the problem. I am the problem.”
She held out her hand, palm up. He slowly slid his hand into hers. “I feel completely safe with you, and that’s what’s important to me. I don’t want you to use this as fuel to stay away from me.”
“What about if it happens again?”
“No one’s ever tried to hurt me like that.” She paused. “I’m fine, really. And I don’t judge you one bit for not getting involved.”
“Our first kiss was... painful, and then someone assaulted you. If that’s not a bad sign—”
She closed her eyes as the tears came. “I don’t believe in those.” She was starting to see how impossible their situation was, and she didn’t want to see it. After all they’d been through, why wasn’t he fighting for their relationship?
“How can you always be so positive?”
She forced a smile. “I’m choosing to remember the good. I want you to remember it too. Let’s not let it put a damper on our first date.” It had taken them this long to get where they were, and she wasn’t going to give up now.
“I’m sorry, Hannah. I have a way of ruining things. My parents mention it enough that it must be true.”
She reached for the door. “Well, they’re wrong. You’re worth the effort, and they should’ve never said that to you.”
“Maybe.”
“Let’s just take a breather and see each other at work on Monday.”
He nodded. “Okay. I’m really sor—”
“Don’t be.” She couldn’t bear to hear him apologize one more time. “There is nothing for you to be sorry about.”
She hurried out of the car before he could find another way to back out of their budding relationship. And part of her... a very small but significant part of her, wondered why she was fighting so hard.
17
Jason
