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Ali opened her mouth, then glanced over to the water that Maxine had said she’d get. She now needed something stronger, but the water was going to have to do.
“What are you doing here?”
Maxine shrugged. “In town visiting family and friends,” she replied. “But however coincidental, I’m glad we bumped into each other. Truth is, I haven’t been able to get the Farmer’s Market out of my mind.”
“Really?” Ali stared at her, then opened her water and took a swig. Her throat was bone dry, and anything would help in that moment.
“I wanted to apologize for how things ended. I mean, I did really care about you. I was in love with you, Ali. And having to get pushed off to another hospital, that wasn’t even in the same area, it was hard to adjust.”
“Hard to adjust for me, as well,” Ali admitted.
“When we saw each other, I was torn by what I wanted to say, or what I should say. So, I didn’t say anything.”
“Understandable. I was pretty struck myself.” Ali dropped her gaze. This was the first conversation that didn’t end with her wanting to crawl in a hole. Maybe their paths were meant to reconnect right then and there. “I don’t hold any ill feelings for you. I just thought you should know that.”
Maxine smiled and there was a brief moment where Ali could take in a breath and be thankful that they had that encounter. “And I don’t hold any for you.”
Ali nodded. “I’m glad we had this talk to clear the air,” Ali replied.
“Me too. And Ali, I hope you’re truly happy.” Ali wished that conversation would have been where she could admit that she was. But now she was in the depths of despair and just wanted someone’s arms to cling to, or someone to tell her that everything would be alright.
“I am,” Ali replied softly. “Goodbye, Max.” She leaned in and offered a hug and Maxine accepted it and it felt good to be putting the past behind them. Ali turned and hurried towards the exit of the bar. She took in the fresh air as she escaped outside. If she could go to Jo, she would have, but she had to make sure that they were in the same space. And from all the Insta posts it was obvious that she was hurting more than Jo and that was hard to cope with.
Johanna
Jo glanced over to Ali. Her heart was shredded. All she wanted to do was go to her and see how everything was going with her. Fact was, she missed her and there wasn’t any amount of ice cream and fudge that could take the pain away. And she knew that to be true. She tried. Ali glanced over her shoulder, and there was a brief moment where they stared at one another until Jo quickly diverted her gaze.
“May,” she called, glad when her friend approached. May released a yawn, then arched an eyebrow. “What time do you get off?”
“Ten minutes.” She held up her hand. “And believe me, I’m going home and crashing.” She snickered. “It’s been a double shift and a hell of a day.
Jo kept her smile going and leaned into her, laughing loudly. Loud enough that Ali could hear her. “Just play along,” she whispered. “Wanna get together tonight?” Jo asked. “I have a new outfit I’m just dying to try out. A little bit of dancing.”
“Sure, sounds great!” May commented. Nearly as loud as Jo had asked the question. Jo looked past May as Ali turned and stepped on the elevator. She thought she saw a frown on her lips, and while Jo wanted to be thrilled about that, she felt this hole in the pit of her stomach. The doors closed, and May tilted her head. “What was that about? It’s been two weeks, and I’ve been practically begging you to go out. You always have an excuse.”
“And I’ll continue to have an excuse,” Jo muttered. She shrugged, slightly. “I just don’t want Ali to know I’m suffering. Can you blame me?”
May crossed her arms in front of her. “I don’t know. Maybe if she saw you were suffering, then the two of you could stop this foolish game you’re playing. Everyone knows the two of you belong together.”
“Shhhh,” Jo hissed. She couldn’t bear thinking that Julia would overhear them talking. If she thought for one minute that she was the cause of Ali not getting the job, it would crush her. “It’s better this way. Trust me.” She tossed her pen to the counter and sighed. “I’m headed out. I’ll see you later.” She moved away from May and hurried off to the breakroom, so May wouldn’t see that her heart was shattering all over again. She grabbed her purse and left, then went to the elevator, ignoring a look in May’s direction. She pressed the button for the main floor and leaned back against the wall. The elevator stopped to pick someone up, and when the doors opened, she saw Nolan.
His face fell when their eyes met and there was a moment she questioned if he would run away from the elevator. Instead, he stepped on and let the doors close.
“Hey, Johanna,” he said.
“Nolan! Long time no see.”
He nodded and they took the one floor ride until the doors opened again. As the doors opened, he turned to Jo. “She’s having a difficult time with this. I hope you know that.” Jo opened her mouth and then she looked down at the floor and stared, just hoping she wouldn’t burst into tears. “I just don’t want you think that what you two had wasn’t real to her. Because I can tell you that it was.”
Jo looked up and stared at him. “Well, if you see her, tell her I’m sorry she’s having a tough time.” She pushed the button for the doors to close and fell back against the wall. One more second lost in conversation with him and she could see that she would turn into mush. She wasn’t fine, herself, but the longer she allowed her thoughts to linger on that, the harder it would be to keep going to her. When the elevator doors opened again, she was at her floor and hurrying out of the hospital, so she wouldn’t get stopped by another person that just wanted to give her a piece of their mind.
When Jo reached the train, that was the first time she could fully take in a breath. She crashed down to the nearest seat and leaned forward. She felt like she would be sick. The train took off and she leaned back in her seat and just waited out the ride. She appreciated the stops that evening. She stared out the window and didn’t let her lingering thoughts stay too long on Ali, even if that’s where her heart wanted to take them.
When she got into her apartment, Maverick was there to greet her, and she knelt down in front of him and ruffled behind his ears. “At least I have you, boy!” She nuzzled her nose into his fur, and he applied several kisses on her face. Jo stood to her feet and went to the kitchen, but everything she stared at in the refrigerator, just felt like her stomach was hollering no. She was in a state of depression, all because of the breakup and if she didn’t snap out of it, she was liable to suffer as much as she did at her previous employer.
What was even more discouraging was there were bills that continued to pile up and that only added to her severe depression. Jo went to her bedroom and collapsed in bed, not even wanting to get dressed in her lounge pants and t-shirt. Maverick jumped up and laid beside her, his head on her lap as she laid there. She needed something but there was only one thing that could raise her mood and she wasn’t able to have her. How depressing was that?
Two more days went by, and she still felt the agony that was tearing her down. May, however, had gotten her boost back from working her double shift, leaving Jo in another sour mood.
