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'Then don't.'
He hauled her into his arms and plastered his mouth to hers, obliterating the need to talk, to discuss, to rationalise, obliterating the need to do anything other than lose herself in the magic of his kiss.
But no matter how many times he kissed her, held her, made love to her, there would always be the nagging doubt he'd done this out of spite.
Sensing her wandering thoughts, he broke the kiss and gripped her arms as if he sensed she'd bolt.
'Our marriage was purely business at the start. That was the only reason I married you.'
'And now?'
'Now I want it all.'
She'd wanted to hear those words when she'd first come to him, had first poured her heart out to him. She'd wanted him to sweep her into his arms and tell her he felt the same way.
But now…
'You still want the same thing, right?' His desperate gaze searched hers and all she could manage was a slight nod.
But her game plan had changed. Words were cheap. She'd learned the hard way: the first time her father had called her a filthy name and apologised with empty words, the first time he'd shoved her against the wall followed by more of those meaningless words, the first time he'd raised a hand to her, his pointless words not enough to bridge the yawning gap that had opened up between them.
She'd fled to London and started a new life, eradicating her past. Ironic, that in coming back to Jacaranda, as she'd never felt as safe as she had the last few weeks with Nick. Only to have her world upended again, courtesy of doubts planted by her father. She hated that his accusations would send her fleeing to London all over again.
'I'm leaving for London.'
Nick’s face drained of colour. 'When?'
'Tomorrow.'
'But what about all that stuff you said? About wanting a real marriage? Surely you don't believe Darby—'
'I believe you, Nick, but I have a job to do. I can't walk away from that. You're a businessman, you understand.'
She played the business card, knowing he'd buy it. Considering the success he'd made of himself, how far he'd gone to cement his reputation, it was the one argument guaranteed to sway him.
She could scarcely believe she would've given up her precious managing director job for him. Even he professed his love now, what did those three little words mean? Nick could say anything and it would be tinged with the doubts her father had planted.
Nick slid his arms around her waist and tugged her close. 'I love you, Red. You know that, right?'
She wanted to believe him. She’d fallen head over heels for this guy but she couldn’t quell her doubts.
'It's the first time you've ever said it. How would I know?'
He flinched, the hurt in his eyes driving a stake through her heart. 'By my actions.'
'Which one? When you chose to lie to me rather than tell me the truth ten years ago? When you married me to get ahead in business? When you visited my father recently and didn’t tell me?’
He laid a hand on her cheek and brushed her bottom lip with his thumb. 'Every night of our marriage has been real, every single moment I've held you in my arms, every second we’ve been vulnerable with each other.’ He eyeballed her, willing her to believe. ‘You can't fake what we have, Britt, and you can't walk away from it because of your father’s interference.’
'I'm not.' Unable to meet his gaze she lowered hers to focus on a tiny thread working loose from his top buttonhole.
'Like hell you're not.' He released her and stepped away, the tension between them palpable.
'I have to do this, Nick. My work is important to me.’
‘I know it is, but you were willing to give up the promotion for us. What’s happened to change that, apart from your father meddling in our relationship again?’
She wanted to tell him the truth: that she couldn’t trust him, that she wished she could. Her father may have come between their relationship yet again but Darby hadn’t lied. Nick had just confirmed he’d chosen Pa and the farm over her a decade ago. What’s to say he wouldn’t put her second again in the future?
