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She presses down on my stomach with the wand, moving the gel around with it. “Okay,” she shares and presses something, and the sound of swooshing fills the room, “I didn’t think we would be able to hear the heartbeat, but there it is.”
“Oh my God.” I look up at Gabriel, who is looking at the monitor with the doctor, as if he knows what the fuck he’s looking at.
“Oh, this is—” The doctor starts and moves the wand from left to right and back and forth. “Um”—she looks at us—“I…” She smiles and I don’t know what she’s going to say, but nothing, and I mean nothing, could prepare me for the next words. “You’re having twins.”
30
GABRIEL
I watch the screen, holding on to Zara’s hand as I listen to the sound of my baby’s heartbeat. My chest feels like it’s about to explode from love. I lean down to kiss Zara’s head when I hear the doctor say, “Oh, this is—” And my eyes fly to hers as my heart that was so full before now feels like it’s going to come out of my throat. My eyes go to her, then to the wand in her hand that is moving right and left on Zara’s stomach, then back to the screen. Zara squeezes my hand and I squeeze it back, telling her whatever happens, everything will be okay. What I’m not expecting are the words that come out of the doctor’s mouth. “You’re having twins.”
I blink my eyes a couple of times, and I think I can actually feel my heart coming out of my chest. The ringing starts in my ears, and I have to shake my head. “Sorry, what?” I ask her to make sure I heard what she was saying.
“Two heartbeats,” she explains. “You might not hear it because they are beating at the same time.” My eyes feel like they are going to come out of their sockets. “But there are two separate placentas.”
“Is that”—I stand—“normal?” I don’t even know what questions to ask.
“Wait, are you sure?” Zara asks, almost sitting up. “Like, how sure are you?”
“Let me show you,” the doctor starts, “this little one here.” She clicks and points at the screen. “This is baby A.” Then she clicks and points. “This is baby B.”
“Oh my God,” Zara shrieks, “of course this would happen to me.”
“From my calculations, you are about eleven weeks, which means almost out of your first trimester,” the doctor says. “It’s still too early to tell what you are having, but there is a blood test you can do. The results are in within twenty-four hours. Do you want to do that?”
“Yes,” Zara says right away, “and, like, you’re one hundred percent sure it’s two babies and not that your screen is glitching.”
The doctor laughs at her as she clicks a button on the machine. “I’m one hundred percent sure that you are having twins.” She takes the wand off Zara’s stomach before grabbing a white towel and cleaning her off before the wand. “Now, you’ll have to come in every other week with multiple babies, but that’s just to make sure we monitor everything.”
“Is this considered high risk?” I ask the doctor as she wheels herself back to her desk.
“Not for right now,” she answers me as she punches in a couple of things on her computer.
“Is it safe for—” I start to get nervous to ask the question.
“For sex?” The doctor doesn’t even look at me. I know it’s a dumb question since having sex got us here. “All is normal. There is no bleeding, no cramping, so we treat this like any normal pregnancy.”
Zara looks at me, her mouth hanging open. “I’ll have the nurse come in to draw the blood,” she adds, going back to the machine and tearing off something. “Here are the first pictures of your babies.” She smiles at us. “Congratulations.”
Zara’s eyes are fixated on the pictures in her hand, and she looks over at me with tears in her eyes. “Twins?” she repeats, and I can’t help but freak out internally.
“Twins.” I swallow down the lump in my throat as I bend to kiss her. She sits up as the nurse comes in and draws her blood, telling us the results should be in by tomorrow morning.
“Would you like to get the results or is someone else getting them?” she asks us, and I look at her and then at Zara. The look of confusion on both our faces makes her continue. “If you are doing a gender reveal, we usually send it to the person.”
“Um…” Zara hesitates. “I didn’t even think of that.”
“We can email you and then you can forward it once you figure out what you are going to do,” she says, smiling at us. I stand against the wall as Zara gets up and gets back into her clothes.
My head is spinning a million miles a minute. It feels like I’m spinning on my feet, but I’m not. I’m standing straight on my feet. We walk out of the room and head back to the waiting room, where Zara makes another appointment.
We walk out with my hand in hers and the only thing that is going through my head is the fact that if she stays here, I won’t be raising them with her. Patricia and I co-parent Colson, but I usually don’t go two days without seeing him. I can’t even imagine not being able to see them all the time. Them. Two.
“Are you okay?” Zara asks me when we step back into the house, and she drops her keys on the table at the front door. “You are quiet.”
“I guess it’s just shock,” I mumble as I take my jacket off and head over to the couch. Plopping myself down, I put my head back and close my eyes.
“Are you mad?” she asks me softly as she sits down next to me, and my eyes fly open.
