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“She moved my appointment to this Friday morning,” I say and wait for him to tell me if he’ll be able to make it or not.
“We can head up on Thursday after work. I have to be back by Monday.” My heart sinks, knowing he’ll come with me but leave and I’ll be alone again.
“I have two meetings next week to finalize a couple of things, plus two other meetings that were pushed back.”
“Sounds good,” he affirms as I close my eyes. “We’ll figure it out,” he says and I want to snap at him, but instead I pretend I’m okay.
“Yup, got to go,” I snip, hanging up the phone before I say something he isn’t ready for.
Instead, I go on with my day as planned, telling myself if it’s not bothering him, why should it bother me. Even when he gets home and starts dinner with me helping him, I put on a smile while secretly wanting to ask him what he thinks about me moving here with him.
By the time we get back to my house, I feel like I’m going to crawl out of my skin. I start to look at everything around me and hate it all. The following morning, he makes sure everything is okay with Colson before we head out to the doctor. He slides his hand in mine as we walk down to the waiting car that takes us to the doctor’s office.
“You nervous?” Gabriel asks from beside me when we sit in the waiting room.
“A little,” I admit to him. “I took a picture this morning, and there is definitely a baby pooch.” I open my phone to show him the side picture I took. “Like, you see it, right?”
“It’s there,” he agrees, and I glare at him. “What?”
“You aren’t supposed to say that, Gabriel,” I hiss at him, grabbing my phone from him. “You’re supposed to be, like, I see nothing.”
“Sweetheart”—he leans in—“your body is changing because of our baby and it’s a beautiful thing.”
“Well, it’s only because I feel like I could eat twenty-four hours a day and I’d still be hungry. Yesterday, I made myself two toasties.” I hold up two fingers. “After the one you made me.”
He chuckles, and before I can say anything more, my name is called through the intercom, “Zara Petrov, room three.”
“Here we go.” I stand, and he gets up with me, walking behind me. When we get to room three, he looks around. “Are you nervous?”
“Like a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” he admits, and I can’t help but laugh at him. “My great-grandfather always says that.”
“It’s cute.” I kiss his lips and then move my hand to wipe the lip gloss off him. The door opens, and the nurse comes in.
She takes my information and tells me to pee in a cup and then undress from the waist down, then put on the sheet, sit on the table, and wait. “I don’t like her,” Gabriel states once I come back and give her the plastic container, where she sticks something inside and confirms I’m pregnant.
“What? Why?” I ask him, sitting on the exam table.
“She was robotic.” He stands next to the table. “I’m also not moving from beside you,” he tells me, and I roll my lips and nod.
The door opens, and the doctor comes in. “Hi, Zara,” she says, “and Dad.”
“Gabriel,” he tells her his name.
“Gabriel.” She sits down at the desk and opens the computer. “Okay, so your last period was in November.”
“Yes, but I was on the pill,” I say nervously. “I got some spotting, but I thought it was stress.”
“Did you ever double up?”
“Yes,” I admit, “and there was almost a whole week when I didn’t take it.” I sound like a neglectful person admitting that. “I found my fiancé cheating on me.” The doctor’s eyes go wide, and she looks over at Gabriel.
“Not me.” He points at himself. “I’m the guy she met after,” he declares proudly.
“Okay, so let’s see how far along you are first and then we can answer any questions or concerns,” she explains, turning off the lights and then coming back. “Lean back and we will start.”
I do what she says and feel Gabriel slide his hand in mine. I look over at him while he puts his hand on the top of my head and bends down to kiss me. “You’re doing great, Sweetheart.”
“Isn’t that sweet?” the doctor says, grabbing a white bottle. “This might be cold.” She moves the sheet off me and squeezes the gel onto my stomach. “If you aren’t that far along, we might have to do this internally.” I’m so nervous I don’t even know what to ask. I suddenly want my mother here to just tell me it’s going to be okay or maybe explain to me what the fuck is going on.
