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“I was stupid.”
“No, you weren’t,” she says, stroking my cheek.
“Yes, I was,” I reply. “Your brother told me so.”
She freezes. “What? Jonah called you stupid?”
I smile as I nod. “Yes, but rightfully so.”
“You’re not stupid, Lucas.”
Tugging her closer, I press my lips to hers. “Not anymore.”
She deepens the kiss, hugging her body close to mine. I am more at peace than I’ve ever been in my life. This doesn’t resolve everything between us—not even close. But it feels like we’ve expressed so much with our actions tonight.
I am forgiven.
I am hers.
Forty-One
Sadie
Lucas comes out of the shower, standing in nothing but a towel around his waist as he uses another to dry his hair. I’m sitting cross-legged on his bed, staring at him with adoration in my eyes.
Watching him take his punishment tonight felt like an out-of-body experience. He didn’t just apologize or make excuses for his actions. He showed me.
After about an hour on the bed in the Ethereal Room, we drove back to his house, and he went straight into the shower. Dean covered closing the club tonight so I could go, and I’m grateful for that. I think Lucas and I need to be together.
Neither of us says a word as we stare at each other. I notice the way he keeps looking down at my stomach. It has grown a lot in the last couple of months. It’s no longer a cute belly but a full, round mass that makes everything difficult.
I want to ask him about the baby. Does he really mean what he meant about raising this child with me? Is he saying he wants to give us a try? Is he actually committing? Does he fully understand what he’s getting into?
Tossing the towel in his hand onto the counter, he switches off the bathroom light and comes toward me. Sitting on the bed in front of me, he stares into my eyes before dropping down until his face is close to my stomach. His lips press against my belly before he rests his head completely in my lap.
“Maybe we should talk about this before we go any further,” I say softly as I stroke his hair.
He lets out a heavy breath as he nods. Part of me worries that he’s just preparing himself for the hard part. That he’s about to say something difficult like how he wants me but isn’t prepared to be a father. Anything less than unwavering confidence might break my heart right now.
“You don’t owe us anything, Lucas. Just because you want to be with me doesn’t mean you have to be ready to raise a child. But we can’t do this if you’re not?—”
“I’m ready,” he says. His tone sounds assured, but I’m still skeptical.
“If you want me, then he or she comes with me. You’re not just getting a girlfriend; you’re getting a child, too.”
“I know.”
“Are you ready to raise someone else’s child?”
He stares up into my eyes with his hand resting on my stomach. “Sadie, this is my child.”
Tears prick intensely behind my eyes. I blink to keep them from brewing more.
Lucas sits up and brings his face level with mine. Then he stares into my eyes. “You are mine, so he is mine. Understand?”
I try to nod, but it only makes my tears spill over, so Lucas pulls me into his arms. Softly, he murmurs against my head. “I never understood family until now, Sadie. I share blood with my own father, and he never showed me a day of love in my life, so I’ll be damned if I let genetics determine how much I love this child. I’ll love him or her with my whole fucking heart. And I’ll tell them every day.”
A sob racks through my chest as I squeeze myself closer to him. This feels like a dream. It’s everything I ever wanted. I just started imagining the wrong person at first, but now I know that this is how it was meant to be all along.
