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After the kiss, she moves behind me.
“Don’t hold back,” I mutter under my breath.
And she doesn’t. The next hit hurts the worst out of all of them. I don’t scream or wail. I breathe through the pain, letting it burn through my mind and body. I see red behind my eyelids and it’s beautiful. Warm copper strands of auburn dancing in my vision like hair strewn over my eyes.
“Five, Miss Green,” I rasp.
It’s excruciating, but I almost don’t want it to stop. I feel changed. Renewed. A new, more whole version of myself born from the broken pieces of who I used to be.
“Last one,” she whispers. And like the good girl she is, she gives it her all. With a roaring sound, she hits me so hard that I nearly tumble forward. My grip on the bar burns as fire spreads like tendrils over my flesh.
This time, I can’t hold it in. I let out a wail as the adrenaline courses through me. All of my senses are heightened as the pain dulls into a throbbing sensation across my back.
I hear the flogger hit the floor as Sadie climbs onto the bed in front of me. Her warm arms wrap around my middle, her hard stomach pressed against mine, and her soft lips peppering the surface of my neck.
I’m breathing heavily, still hanging from the bar, as she kisses me. When her mouth finds mine, she tries to kiss her way into my mouth, and I finally let go of the bar to hold her. But my body is heavier and more spent than I realized. So I practically fall into her, but she holds me up.
“Six, Miss Green,” I mumble against her shoulder, and she laughs with her lips against my cheek.
“You did so good,” she says with a smile. “Come lie down now.”
I blink open my eyes as she pulls me toward the head of the bed. “On your stomach,” she says comfortingly.
With a sigh, I collapse onto the bed. It’s softer than I expected so I sink into the mattress with my face in the pillow. My cock is still hard, pressed between my body and the bed, but I’m not doing anything about that right now. With everything my body just experienced, my cock hardly matters.
I had no idea pain could feel so good. Don’t get me wrong; it still hurt. It was still awful, but it was also incredibly powerful. Like a few lashes of pain unleashed all of the adrenaline and endorphins in my body, more potent than the heaviest drug.
I feel the bed dip a moment before Sadie’s warm hands stroke the tender skin of my back. It takes me a moment to realize she’s wiping something on me. I lift my head to see what she’s doing.
“It’s a salve,” she explains. “It will help with bruising.”
Bruising? Why the fuck would I care about bruising? It felt like my body was being cracked open and torn apart. A few bruises are nothing. But the nurturing movement of her hands on my flesh is nice, and I feel like I might fall asleep.
Once she’s done, she comes back a moment later with a thick, warm blanket, and she drapes it over my naked body. Then, her face comes into view, and she wipes mine with a soft cloth.
“How are you feeling?” she whispers.
I reply with a grunt and a nod, hoping it conveys what I’m feeling, which doesn’t have any discernible words to describe it. Good. Bad. Tired. Refreshed. I guess those would do, although they don’t make much sense.
“Would you like me to leave you alone?” she asks, and I lift my head from the pillow.
“What? No.” I lift a hand to reach for her.
“Okay, I’m just making sure. Some people like alone time during aftercare,” she says.
“Sadie, just please get the fuck over here.”
With a smirk on her face, she crawls onto the bed and lies next to me on her side, facing me. I hook an arm around her leg and tug her closer. She scoots onto my pillow until our faces are inches apart. My hand rests on her hip as I stare into her eyes.
We don’t speak for a moment. It feels like the punishment scrambled up everything. Like it picked us up in one place and dropped us in another. I forgot what I wanted to say an hour ago.
But as she strokes my face and stares lovingly into my eyes, it doesn’t feel like we need to say anything at all.
Eventually, two words find their way to my lips, and they’re simple and poignant enough to cover the rest.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur.
“It’s okay,” she replies. “I know you are.”
