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He pushes open a bedroom door with his foot, and his scent surrounds us. “Is this the spare room?”
“Mine,” he mumbles.
“I can sleep in the spare.”
“No bed in there.”
“The couch was fine.”
“You’re not sleeping on my couch. My bed is huge, and we’re both adults; you’ll sleep with me.”
I’m suddenly wide awake. “Merrick—” I start, but him placing me on the bed stops whatever plea I was about to make. He flips on the small lamp on the nightstand and illuminates the room.
My eyes follow him as he reaches into his dresser and grabs a T-shirt before walking back to where I’m sitting and handing it to me. “You can sleep in this.”
“Really, I can drive home. I’m wide awake now.” It’s not a lie. I’m on high alert.
“I don’t want to worry about you. Come on, get changed, and we’ll get some sleep. I’m taking you to breakfast in the morning. I’d offer to cook, but I need groceries.”
Fight for what you want.
Instead of fighting against what I know others might think is right, I do what I want. My knees shake as I stand with the shirt in my hand. Merrick gives me a sleepy smile and a nod.
“Bathroom. Extra toothbrushes under the sink.”
“Thank you, Merrick.” I don’t stick around for him to reply. My wobbly knees carry me to the bathroom. I close the door softly and twist the lock just in case. Bracing my hands on the counter, I count to ten and do it three more times. Looking up into the mirror, my eyes are bright, and even I can see the happiness in them at the idea of sleeping next to Merrick Kincaid, even if it is platonic.
I know I’m not getting any sleep tonight, but that’s okay. I don’t want to miss a minute of this night. It might very well be my first and last night in his bed, and that’s something not to be missed. For the first time in my life, I’m taking what I want and pushing all thoughts and doubts out of my mind.
When I open the bedroom door, I see Merrick standing at the foot of the bed. “All set?” he asks.
“Yes.” I tug at his T-shirt. It’s big on me, hanging to midthigh. He can’t see anything, but I did remove my bra. Not that he notices. He keeps his eyes locked on mine. Merrick is a good guy. I’m certain his eye placement is for my benefit and to make me feel more comfortable about this. He knows me so well, just after a few weeks.
“Get in bed, Court.”
“Um—what side?”
“I’ll take the side closest to the door.”
“Is that your side, normally? I don’t want to put you out.”
“My side is closest to the door when you’re in my bed.”
Tilting my head to the side, I study him. “Okay.”
He nods and waits for me to slide under the covers before turning off the lamp and doing the same. My heart beats rapidly against my ribs. My palms are sweaty and I try to wipe them against the sheets discreetly.
“Why?” I ask into the silence of the room.
“Why what?”
“Why do you sleep by the door when I’m here?”
The bed dips, and I hear him turn over. I do the same. I can barely make out his features in the moonlight. I suck in a breath when he reaches over and pushes my hair out of my eyes.
“When you’re here, I need to be close to the door. If someone breaks in, they have to get through me to get to you.”
My heart.
