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I wasn’t saying I wouldn’t have been happy with Conrad, I might have been, had I never experienced Myles. Drawing comparisons wasn’t fair, Conrad was just a human man, while Myles was… a force of nature, besides the obvious of being a vissigroth.
Just looking at it from a practical point of view Myles was so much more than Conrad, had so much more to offer.
And, unfortunately, from an emotional point of view it wasn’t any different. Conrad drew the short straw at every end. Even if Myles and I went our separate ways, I was certain I could never settle for Conrad.
You’re being a coward, my mind whispered, rightly so. I was being a coward. This had nothing to do with Conrad.
I had asked myself what I wanted and the answer was clear. I wanted Myles. I wanted all of him.
Then get it, my heart whispered.
The problem was I didn’t know how. As I mentioned, all my life had been focused on keeping Horn afloat. First by being a baron’s daughter, then by being a baron’s sister. Conrad had been an attraction and a convenience. A practical solution. Sooner or later I wanted a family and Conrad would have given that to me. We would have raised wonderful children and lived our lives like all the others, by furthering our family and Horn.
I didn’t even have to think about how a marriage to Myles would further Horn, that was a given. Even forgetting the fact, that Myles hadn’t mentioned anything like that.
My point was I didn’t know what to do, how to ensnare him, how to make him want me more, how to entice him, how to keep his interest in me, how to make him want me the way I wanted him.
At some point my mother had tried to entice me into reading one of the romance books she liked and now I kicked myself for having shunned those as a waste of time. A waste of time had been the time I hadn’t spent with her, taking her presence for granted until she died way too young.
Other girls had talked about boys of course, but I had never listened, thinking of them as silly, wasting their time.
And so here I was. Having been with Conrad for over a year—without ever going further than kissing—had given me no reason to explore the finer works of a relationship. We had been a given.
I was utterly clueless on how to make Myles and me work.
For Conrad I had been a step up, the baron’s sister! For Myles I was… a hostage. A human. A nothing.
Why do you always have to analyze everything, Niara? my heart questioned. Why can’t you just enjoy the moment, what you have and see where it goes?
Since that was the only advise I had and Myles’s lips were brushing against my neck, I decided it was sound advice and go with it. I closed my eyes, sent a prayer to the gods and surrendered myself.
Which was easy, because his lips were trailing down my neck and back, sending shivers of yearning through me. As if in answer, I pushed my ass against his hard erection. A deep moan from him encouraged me to gyrate my hips.
“Ah, seffy, do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?”
None, I thought, but let’s find out where it goes.
I would have loved nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in bed with the incredible seffy. Unfortunately duty and a battle with the Chrymphten was calling.
I cursed, it was just my luck that I would have the most delectable seffy I had ever encountered in my bed and willing when the lure of a battle called me into a different direction.
We did steal an hour or so though, before I took a shower and readied myself for the last meeting with the other vissigroths. Vissigroths Wyltham, Claymor and Duncayn had already left for their part in the mission, to attack the Chrymphten’s flanks and back. The rest of us would organize a strike from Oceanus. Their fleets were being recalled right now, to enter Oceanus from the Chrymphten’s blind spot to make their way, underwater, to the agreed upon meeting spot, where my fleet was already manned and ready to break through the waves.
Tomorrow we’ll strike, I thought grimly. Tomorrow would see the end of the Chrymphten threat for a long time. With their fleet mostly destroyed they would tug their tails between their legs and return to their own side of the galaxy. Licking their wounds until they were ready to strike again.
In the meantime, we would hold a Vissigroths Council meeting on Leandar, under Susserayn Myccael and decide if we were going to take advantage of the Chrymphten’s weakened state and attack them for a change.
The idea had been brought up and it wasn’t a bad one. Except if we did, we would have to decide on the survivor’s fate, we would have to leave a contingent of dragoons on their main planet to ensure no rebellions would rise or decimate the Chrymphten to the last.
That wasn’t the Leandar way. We didn’t set out and kill the defeated but with the renewed human contact we couldn’t chance our attention to be distracted. Humans were cunning and had already begged to house more of their kind. Our focus needed to be on them.
I sighed, this was for Myccael to decide. I didn’t envy him for that responsibility but was sure that the meeting was going to be a heated one.
Movement on the bed drew my attention back to Niara. She was stretching like a synn, smiling up at me, inviting me to rejoin her.
“I have to go meet the other vissigroths,” I said, fastening my belt and shoulder protection that called out my status.
“I should check on the equipment, make sure your men understand how to melt and make new tanks.” She pulled the blanket around her and moved to the bathroom.
