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It came one night when cleaning up. I was gathering my laundry off of the floor when I saw a hint of white sticking out from under my bed. When I pulled the T-shirt out, I realized it was his. Afterward, I made the mistake of smelling it, and although faint, I still detected his cologne.
“Callum,” I had cried out, not that he would hear me.
Everything came rushing back to me now as I remembered clutching his shirt against me as I rocked back and forth. Not having the heart to actually wash it, I kept it out and even fell asleep wearing it that night. The next morning, clarity returned, so I thrust it into a drawer, and I hadn’t pulled it out since. I’d picked up the broken pieces of my heart, and I was determined to move on from here. It was much easier planned than done, though. Tears threatened to fall again, and I closed my eyes suddenly.
“Are you okay, Nicole?”
I nodded, even though my eyes were squeezed shut. After regaining my composure, I opened them, then flashed my friend a small smile. “I’m just thinking about—”
“There’s a final written essay due upon your return from the holiday,” Callum interrupted, and I was sure my conversation with Travis was the reason it came out so clipped. When I looked over at him, my suspicions were confirmed because he was regarding me and Travis with disapproval. “Unless there are some who would prefer to give theirs orally...”
Hearing the word ‘oral’ come from him had my mind conjuring up the last time I’d been with him. I’d gotten on my knees and pleasured him. In that moment, I knew it was the last time I’d ever do that, yet my traitorous body kept thinking otherwise considering how often he still crossed my mind. Those memories were best kept pushed aside, so I rolled my eyes. I grabbed my book and the bell saved me from any further embarrassment. Callum wished us all a happy holiday, and as he did so, I hurried up and stuffed my things into my backpack.
Travis was ready when I was, so without another look at Callum, we both left class. We started across campus toward our next one, which was the only other class we had together, but he stopped midway there.
“I hope the professor gets laid over the holiday break.”
“Huh, what?” The very thought of Callum doing that had me swallowing back a mouthful of bile. Even thinking about him falling into someone else’s bed caused me to see red, not that I had a reason to be upset. I’d broken things off with him, so he was technically able to do anything he wanted, including having sex with others. I wasn’t sure if the twang of pain showed on my face, but I quickly tried to recover.
“Why would you say that?’
Travis shrugged. “Don’t get me wrong, he also acted like a dick at the beginning of the school year, but he seems more uptight than usual in the last several weeks. He either needs a few stiff drinks, or to get laid. Let’s just hope he gets over whatever it is before classes return.”
I smiled, then pretended to agree. “He has seemed off lately.” Only I knew why that was, and the reason wasn’t anything I could share with Travis of all people.
“So what do you have planned for Thanksgiving?”
I was thrilled at that question because it changed the topic of conversation which was greatly needed.
“I’m headed home to Cali.”
“I’m headed home, too. You flying out of O’Hare tonight?”
Shaking my head, I answered. “No. My father’s sending his private jet to pick me up at Midway in a few hours. I’m actually thinking about heading home after Marketing class.” Travis looked a bit disappointed with my response. “Would you like to fly back home with me?”
It wasn’t unreasonable since the two of us were friends and our family homes were a short commute from one another. Looking over at him, I saw him smile, then watched it widen. “That would be great. What time is the flight leaving?”
“Two,” I replied. “I understand if that doesn’t give you enough ti—”
“No, no,” he quickly said, “That time is perfect. In fact, why don’t we blow Marketing class altogether. I doubt we’ll miss anything important. I can head home, then meet you at Midway in a few hours?”
I hedged slightly because I hated to just blow off a class. I was carrying an ‘A’ in there, so he was right. “Sure. When I get home, I’ll confirm your addition to the flight plan, then send you the gate and hangar information.”
We said our goodbyes, and I went one way while Travis went the other. Once home, I looked through my already packed suitcase, and this time I put the book for Callum’s class in the pocket of my carry-on bag. I wouldn’t need to spend my time reading it with Travis joining me. He was such a great guy, and a friend I was fortunate enough to find. We had so many things in common. Similar interests, age, backgrounds, and he was the very type of guy who I could openly have a relationship with. As I wondered what was stopping me from exploring it, a face entered my mind.
Callum. I had no eyes for anyone else because I was still so in love with him. There were even times when I suspected he’d felt something for me, too. I’d then remember what my uncle had told me about him. After he’d filled in so many blanks, I wasn’t sure I could ever be certain where I stood with Callum. Because of that, and the other elephant in the room, I could never have him. He was my professor, and as a student, that meant he was off limits. I’d known it before, yet I still allowed myself to start something I was so glad to finally have had the strength to end.
I decided to stop thinking about him. With Thanksgiving just a few days away, I would be able to give thanks for having another one to spend with my mother. She was my rock, and I needed her more than ever right now. Whenever I thought about how much she meant to me, I’d get teary-eyed. Now was no exception. I had a lot of gratitude that she’d made it this far. Remembering the necklace I had bought for her at Mitchells when dress shopping, and I started rummaging through my bags for it. When I finally located the wrapped box in the bottom of my bag, I sighed in relief.
The next two hours were spent working on the written essay Callum had referenced before class was dismissed. I was almost done with it when the alarm I’d set on my cell phone alerted me to the time. I could finish this on the plane ride to California, or at some point in time this week while I was there. I saved my work, powered off my laptop, then stuffed it into its bag. After, I headed to Midway where Travis was already waiting on me.
“I can’t thank you enough for saving me from commercial flight hell,” he told me after hugging me tightly.
Smiling, I looked up at him. “I might’ve had ulterior motives for asking.” When he arched a brow, I added, “I’m really glad you’ll be here to keep me company.”
Usually on these four hour flights, I would sit there awkwardly while a CHG flight attendant would try fussing over me. Other times, I would try to sleep. Today, I would actually have someone I knew to carry on a conversation with. Travis took my bags, placing one over his shoulder, and the other atop his rolling carry-on bag, then we headed to the plane. Once settled, there was an unexpected awkwardness, so I pulled out my laptop.
“I’ve been working on my written essay, but I’m not sure it’s good enough,” I told him.
