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“We’ll get you the materials.”
“You can use ours!” Rachel says. She pulls Jonny to her in a hug. “That way we can see you more.”
“Who wants to milk some cows?” There’s a mixed reaction that makes everyone crack up. Jaxson smirks and adds, “I’ve already done their daily milking, so I was planning on just showing you how it’s done.”
Steven shouts, “I want to milk a cow!" causing another fit of laughter, which, from the grin on his face, was his desired intention.
Ben leans to whisper in my ear, “You’ll have lots of time to milk cows when you come back to visit me.”
“Oh I’m coming back?”
“Yes.”
“Yay!”
“How about we ride horses today.”
I whisper back, “With Jonny?”
“That’s what I was hoping for.”
“Can I ask him?”
“Yes,” Ben smiles.
“Jonny, how’d you like to ride horses with us while everyone learns about milking cows?”
“Yeah!!!” Jonny shouts.
“And just like that, a beautiful afternoon is planned. At least for us.” Everyone laughs, and breaks off to get ready for their day.
“Snacks first!” Rachel calls out.
Great idea.
THIRTY-TWO
Willow
The day before I have to go home, Ben disappears.
Neither he, nor Jonny, are there for breakfast, lunch, or the afternoon activities. I don’t have his number and I would never call anyway. He probably needs a minute? Or is he distancing himself from me since I’m leaving? He said I was invited to come for a visit…but.
And that’s a huge BUT because I know one thing… I’m in love with him. Where is he, I keep wondering as I spend my day taking photographs on the property, getting closer-up pictures of the horses, especially Arwen, my first horseback riding teammate, now friend. She poses for me with ease and it makes the time fly faster than the snail’s pace it was traveling at. The hens though, make me laugh, a welcome feeling that staves off my underlying anxiety. My long lens helps me get the closeup I so love, and they are hilarious.
Where is he?
Our group paints wood in the afternoon of affirmations — a pastime they normally do for their retreats. So much has been a departure from the norm, we all approach the task with humor. I write I Love Sunflower on mine with the intention of leaving it here as some have in the past. It’ll be my own in-person review, in a way. Though I have every intention of leaving a five-star for them on the Internet too. I hope many people for many years enjoy this beautiful place. I hope to be one of them again soon.
Where is he?
At dinner, seats aren’t saved for them so I gather, without asking, that Rachel knows they’re not coming. My heart sinks, and it’s difficult to find my appetite. I eat a small amount of ham steaks, mashed potatoes and sautéed veggies, baked cauliflower. It’s all delicious but I can’t even focus on the conversations, much less eat with a fervor.
I can’t believe I leave tomorrow.
Where is he?
Dessert is a huge double-later chocolate cake Sylvia and Rachel made while we were all out and about this afternoon. On the top is written, “Thank you to our new friends.” We all react in our own ways. Maggie and Pete kiss each other. Marco takes Michelle’s hand and holds it on the table while his free hand serves them both a slice each. Steve bows with his hands in prayer position. Laura hugs Sylvia who is seated beside her. Sienna wipes away tears. “I’ve had the best time!” Dax sits in silence with closed eyes and when I look closer, I see they’re brimming, too.
