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“Can I watch?”
“Watch what?”
“You know what. Watch you kill him.”
I thought about it for a minute then shook my head.
“Nah. I don’t think that would be a good idea. I know you probably hate that nigga, and you may even want to do harm to him, but at the end of the day, I don’t want that shit on your conscience. You had a child by the man, so watching him go won’t sit well with you.
“Makari may not ask now, but in the future, she’ll want to know where her father is. Then you’ll start seeing images of you watching him die and feel guilty. So no, you can say your piece, but then you gotta bounce. It’s already bad enough that you know I’m sending him to the pits of hell. What I have planned for him, you don’t need to witness.”
She was quiet for a moment then she sighed and nodded.
“I guess you’re right.” She looked up at me and smiled. “You know, the only reason I’m in here with you is because I like the nice you. You have a comforting spirit that you try to hide from the world. I know in due time, you’re going to drop the armor and allow yourself to be free to love out loud and don’t be ashamed by it.”
“You think so, huh?”
“I know so because I’m going to help you get there. I don’t know if I’m making the right decision by submitting to my feelings for you, but one thing I can say is that you are a man of your word, and you do care a lot about me and Kari. I hate that you won my baby over.” She laughed. “But she’s definitely smitten by you.”
“Rabbit’s my homegirl. We got our own little thing going on.”
“I see. Can I tell you a secret?”
“Yeah.”
“I saw her little journal you bought her, and she drew pictures of you, her, and I. We were all holding hands, but you and I were looking at each other with hearts in our eyes… She captioned it ‘Our family’. I don’t want her to get so attached because what if we don’t work out?”
“Why are you thinking the worst? We just agreed that we want each other, and in case you don’t know, let me remind you that once I lock in on something, it’s nothing but pressure after that. That’s her fairy tale, her dream. I’m only here to fulfill whatever wish you both ask for.”
“I’m sorry, I just—”
“Need to mind your business and stop snooping in my best friend’s diary. Even if we don’t work out, Makari will always have a friend in me.”
“What about me?”
“The ball will always be in your court, Bunny. You always have the choice whether you want to leave or stay, but I won’t even give you a reason to want to leave. So you’re good unless you don’t want to be good.” Silence settled between us for a minute before she spoke.
“So your love language is acts of service and gifts. Got it.”
I chuckled. “Where that shit come from?”
“Nowhere, I just see what you do and how you are. I would love if it were quality time, but I’m sure I’ll help you be in tune with it soon.”
“You forgot physical touch.” She sat up slightly and stared at me. “Yeah. I know all about that shit.”
She laughed. “I love that you do. And yes, physical touch is definitely one of your languages as well as mine.”
“So now we’re finding out what we have in common.”
“We certainly are. But enlighten me on something.”
“What’s that?”
“You don’t like your food to tou—”
“Don’t even go there, baby. Leave that shit alone.”
She laughed again, and I swear each time she did it, my stomach felt queasy. The shield I had to protect myself was becoming too heavy to carry when around her. She was making me feel things I hadn’t felt since leaving home at eighteen. Once I left my parents’ home, I shielded myself from ever feeling anything because I knew the streets had a way of claiming you.
