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I stand there dumbfounded.
I’m not ready.
That’s all I can think.
I love Mia, but what I had in mind for us was quite different than what is unfolding in front of us right now.
Ryan takes the hint and disappears, busying himself with food and drink set around on tables.
Still sweaty from the game, I stare at Mia, rubbing my face as I try to process the news. My thoughts are a tangled mess. I want to comfort Mia but find myself at a loss, grappling with the enormity of the news.
She holds her breath, tears filling her eyes. “It was a complete surprise,” she sobs quietly. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”
I take her shoulders in both hands, trying to reassure her. “We will figure it out, okay? I… I just need some time to think.”
Mia seems taken aback. As I step back, she looks at me with heartbreaking loneliness. I want to hold her, to promise everything will be alright.
But right now, I can’t.
My relationship with Amanda went lukewarm when Senna was born. I can only wonder what will happen between Mia and me.
No matter how much I love her, we’re still getting to know each other. A child could complicate things quickly.
Lost in thought, I stand outside the arena for a long time. When the fans disperse and the players head to the hotel, I finally get into my rental car and drive aimlessly through town.
When I finally reach my room, I sit on the edge of the bed, the weight of the news pressing down on me. I consider calling Mia, but my thoughts are a tangled mess.
Tomorrow, I tell myself.
I need a clear head to face this.
As I lie down, staring at the ceiling, I can’t shake the feeling that everything is about to change, and I have no idea if I’m ready for it.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
MIA
“You told him?!” Amanda is all giggles, her eyes wide and eager to hear more.
“It felt like I had no choice,” I say, grabbing energy drinks from the fridge for the athletes. “He got angry thinking that I was going to tell Ryan before him. In the end, they both found out at the same time.”
“When Ryan showed up saying you needed to talk to him, I assumed you were going to tell him too. I was so confused why you would do that, but it makes sense it was just a misunderstanding,” she says, placing cups on the tray. “I found it daring that you told me first!”
“Oh no, I needed to tell you.” I look at Amanda with wide eyes, “You’re my friend, and you told him about a pregnancy before. I needed to know what to expect, and it had to be from you!”
She pinches my cheek and gives me a glance that says, ‘You can trust me.’
“What are you going to do now?” The food trays start to arrive, and Amanda is one step away from taking one and offering it around herself.
“Book a different hotel room and wait until I can face Ethan again,” I say it quickly, trying to act like my heart isn’t pounding out of my chest.
“Don’t run away.” Amanda leans against the kitchen counter. “He’s not the boogeyman. He’s responsible, and you two can work this out together.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.” I cover my mouth with one hand. “I really like Ethan, Amanda. I don’t want him to break up with me and just…”
“Just share custody of your child like we do with Senna?” she puts a hand on her waist.
I feel bad for insinuating that, but it’s the truth.
