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“I’m sorry, but…”
“Don’t be!”
“But—” I interject. “It’s just when I thought about being a mother one day, I imagined having the father around. Can that even be possible with a hockey player?”
“Well…” Amanda starts to lead me outside the kitchen as more staff come through, her voice thoughtful. “It got complicated for us even before Senna started school. Ethan was traveling so much for games.”
I nod, absorbing her words. “It must be tough, managing everything.”
Amanda shrugs, a knowing smile on her face. “Yeah, and Ethan’s focus is so divided. He tries his best, but it’s definitely a challenge.”
“Did Senna miss him growing up?” I ask.
“I missed him too,” she shrugs. “He was my husband. I was completely oblivious that I wasn’t giving him any attention in the end. For me, being a mother was enough.”
“Do you still miss him?” I raise an eyebrow.
She just shakes her head with a sad smile. “Not in that way. And I have someone new now.”
“That dashing beau I saw with you at the park?” I finally manage a genuine smile.
Amanda turns bright red, but her eyes gleam with hope. “His name is James.” She says it like a teenager making a confession. “Listen, why don’t you spend the night in my room, and I tell you all about it, huh?”
I smile again, feeling grateful for our friendship. Amanda’s presence is comforting, especially with the news I just shared with Ethan.
We talk while keeping an eye on Senna, who eventually falls asleep on a couch in the wives’ room.
In the end, we book a ride back to the hotel. Amanda enlists my help putting Senna to bed, and we cap off the evening by ordering a tub of ice cream from room service and turning on a soap opera rerun.
We talk about James until the first light of dawn. He’s a big shot at a publicity agency, loosely related to Ryan’s company but not enough for them to know each other by name. Amanda describes him as kind, and she loves that he gets along with Senna.
I’m half-asleep when I murmur, “I wish you all the good things, Amanda,” from the couch. After that, I notice her taking a blanket and draping it over me. With the sun already up, I reach for my phone to check the time, only to find it dead. My charger is in Ethan’s room.
Despite my attempt to focus on James and Amanda, thoughts of Ethan nag at me. I wonder if he’ll reach out soon, and if he’s already made up his mind about everything.
Today is a day off for everyone. We’ll be moving to another town in a few days. I try to push thoughts of Ethan to the back of my mind. Otherwise, or I know I won’t be able to sleep. Soon, I’m dozing off again.
Until I hear his voice at the door.
“Let me in, Amanda.” Ethan tries to sound menacing but only sounds desperate. “I know she’s here.”
“She’s asleep, Ethan,” Amanda says softly. “And so is Senna.”
I tense up under the blanket, my heart pounding. I hear Ethan sigh heavily. Yesterday he did say, ‘We are going to deal with it.’ Though his tone wasn’t ideal, it gave me enough hope to get through the night. I desperately want us to work it out, but now that he’s here, I feel frozen.
“Please, Amanda. I need to talk to her,” Ethan’s voice cracks with urgency.
Amanda hesitates for a moment, then turns to me, her eyes questioning. “Mia, can he come in?”
I take a deep breath and nod, pushing the blanket aside. I can’t keep hiding. I need to know what he’s thinking. Amanda steps aside, and Ethan walks in, looking exhausted and worried.
Ethan stands there, looking miserable as if he hasn’t slept at all. When Amanda opens the door all the way, he comes in, hands in his pockets.
Amanda smiles softly from the doorway. “I’ll give you two some privacy. I’ll be back with breakfast for Senna.”
He stands there for a moment, hands in his pockets, as if he’s unsure of what to say. He clears his throat, “I’m sorry for barging in here like this, but I couldn’t reach you on your phone...”
He takes a deep breath and continues, his voice barely above a whisper, “Mia, I’ve been thinking about everything. I want to be there for you and the baby. I want to figure this out together.”
