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My smile vanished. "You don’t want to have sex?"
"That’s not what I said."
"But—?"
"Piper—I can’t believe what I’m saying—" He rubbed his temple. "We’re not having sex."
It was hard to think through the line of reasoning for no sex. Why weren’t we having sex? Adam looked so good in his fresh t-shirt and I knew he’d just showered. The scent was mouthwatering. I just wanted to run my fingers through his hair and kiss his neck and take his cock in my mouth and do all of those things while I still had the taste of mouthwash on my tongue.
My response sounded pathetic, even to me. "But I want you."
"You don’t." His answer was firm. Without compromise. "Piper, you drank two cans of something that’d kill a horse. We need to focus on getting through the shift."
"But I—"
"Nobody’s going to know anything," he said gently. "I’ll keep you awake for the next couple of hours to do lockouts with me and once it’s too late for your coworkers to be milling around, I’ll take over alone. I’m not going to let you down. I promise."
Adam was trying to be helpful but he kept piling on everything that sent my nerves buzzing. The protectiveness, the consideration, the concern…god, I’d never wanted to sleep with him more. He was driving me crazy.
I rolled my hips along his lap and Adam caught my hands together and held me there. My breathing slowed. "Do you want a blowjob?"
"Piper."
"What about when I sober up?" I suggested, fighting the wave of disappointment at imagining how long that would take.
Adam’s reply was simple. "You won’t want me when you’re sober."
"That’s not true," I blurted out.
"Yeah, it is." The closeness between us was gone. Those walls were back up and Adam’s face was shrouded. But his hand crept up my thigh and his fingers trailed across the little sliver of skin exposed between my shirt and my jeans. "You know what hurts worse, Piper?" he muttered, drawing little circles and making my heart pound. "I don’t think you’re going to remember any of this. I’m just going to have to walk around and pretend like we didn’t have this conversation."
I shook my head. "You don’t know anything."
"I know that." His thumb slipped between the loop of my jeans and he twisted it against his skin. "I know how bad this is going to hurt when I can’t say anything about this." He glanced down at his hand. "And I just have to keep pretending."
"The kiss in the blue room," I said, because I couldn’t formulate the rest of the sentence.
His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes met mine again. "What?"
"The kiss in the blue room was—was—I—" Why wouldn’t my brain work properly? I struggled with my words, trying to figure out the best way to tell him. "The kiss in the blue room was…I…" Frustrated, I had to try a different approach. I needed him to see how much I wanted him to feel good too. "Adam, I want to thank you."
"Thank me? You’re not making any sense, ice princess."
"For calling Thomas," I breathed out.
Adam’s eyes flickered to mine. "This isn’t a quid pro quo situation. Are you serious? Is that why you think I did it?’
My brain wasn’t working at half-speed, much less enough to jump to conclusions like he was. "Um…"
All hesitation was gone out of him. He grabbed my waist and shifted me off his lap. I couldn’t believe it. And I knew a couple of hours ago I knew what a quid quid quid situation was but at that point, I was stumped.
"Piper, I didn’t call Thomas so you would blow me," Adam told me, helping me up to a standing position. I tried to touch his arm but he moved out of my way, tossing empty paper plates into the garbage, refusing to look at me. "I called him because he’s a sack of shit that’s been bothering you. And I should’ve called him earlier. You wouldn’t let me."
Too many things had gone wrong in our conversation but I couldn’t put them together to figure it out. "I’m sorry, Adam."
"You don’t have to apologize for anything."
"I do though?" I said slowly. "Adam—wait—"
