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“We will be happy to stop as often as you need,” Naz said, stepping out of the buggy to come talk. Samar followed.
“We won't leave you behind,” he said.
“No. I'm not getting back into that thing.”
I shut my eyes, trying to keep all the flooding emotions at bay, but I was panicking, and we weren't even home yet. Their judgment was sending me into a downward spiral.
I clutched my hair in both fists, tugging.
“Ugh. I don't know what to do.”
I turned around, nearly stepping on the mess I'd left in the sand if not for Addy pulling me to the side at the last moment.
“Lili,” he said. “Talk to me. What's wrong?”
It was glaringly obvious that this would normally be the moment he would pull me into one of those calming embraces of his, but he wasn't doing it. He was more controlled in front of other people and oh, goddess, I just wanted to go back to our oasis and my pool and cozy tent right now.
“Traveling must be so difficult right now,” Naz said kindly. “This is the time when an omega needs stability, home and their loved ones all around them.”
I snorted because, sure, the idea of that was nice. Being home in my own bed with Addy snuggling me and doting on me and my om-mother and al-mother there to check on me would be blissful, but it was far from reality.
“It's not going to be like that, is it?” I demanded, suddenly angry. “We’ll get home, and our parents will be furious. Then Addy is going to be taken away for some sort of punishment?—”
“Alil, it's okay?—”
“No!” I snapped at Addy, frustrated. “It is not okay, and you have to stop saying you don't mind. This is all my fault. You should be angry with me.”
Addy looked like I'd slapped him.
His jaw dropped and he stared, seemingly at a loss for words.
“Forgive me,” Naz said, frowning, “but I find that hard to believe. He kidnapped you.”
“He didn't know their plan,” I argued heatedly. “I heard him arguing with the others before they attacked me. He thought that we were just going to talk. Then I don't know if you remember that fight but Addy and Ossad—they were arguing—and?—”
I groaned, annoyed. My head felt too fuzzy for this. They had been there. I remembered both Addy and Ossad arguing about the plan when we'd woken up. If Naz and Samar didn't, that was their own problem.
“It wasn't his fault,” I said stubbornly. “I had to beg him to bond with me. We ended up alone together in a little slice of utopia and he was still being decent until I insisted and practically forced him to go to bed with me.”
“Alil!” Addy said, eyes widening.
“No!” I snapped. “It's not fair for them to be mad at you when I kept pushing for more from you.”
I turned to the others.
“I even convinced him to do sexual things before we even bonded, and he still didn't want to kiss me and take away my chances of going to auction.”
Samar's jaw dropped, but suddenly, he was biting back a smile.
Naz's eyes widened to the point that it would have been comical if not for the situation.
“It's not fair that all the responsibility lands on Addy. I have always loved him. Why do you think I followed him that night?”
A long silence followed the end of my impassioned speech.
“You really did all that?” Samar asked.
I shrugged sullenly.
