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I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Thanks, Aidan.”
Greer ended the call and looked back at me. “I’m sorry to have to do that, but if the dumbass tries to claim we didn’t discipline you, I have to be fair.”
I smiled as best I could. “I understand, Greer. I shouldn’t have punched him, but it was difficult to hold back. He’s been grating on my nerves for a long damn time.”
He nodded. “At least one good thing came out of this.”
This time I nodded, unsure of what he was referring to—the donation or the departure of Clay Turner. But I didn’t ask. It was worth five grand to get rid of him.
“I should have had better control. It’s been a difficult month for me, personally.”
He looked at me with a genuine expression on his face. “It’s okay, Patrick. I understand. More than you know.”
My heart started pounding at just the thought that Greer might know about me and Cole. In my head, I knew he wouldn’t care. He had five queer players on this team, and maybe more, if the truth be known. The odds I was the only one still in the closet were slim.
“Patrick, are you okay? I can see you’ve lost some weight.”
I snapped my eyes back up at him as a cold sweat broke out over my skin. My stomach churned and my chest tightened. I knew it was anxiety. I’d lived with it since high school.
Nodding, I took in a few calming breaths. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Greer looked at me with concern written all over his face. “I don’t know how to fucking say this, so I’m just going to put it out there.”
Now I wanted to throw up the protein shake swirling in my stomach.
“I’ve heard the rumors about my players. And I don’t give a fuck about the majority of what I hear because it’s none of my damn business. The only thing I want are players that are happy to be here and fit into the dynamic we’ve created. This dynamic wins games and produces a cohesive unit on the field like no other. If I’d known Turner was going to be such a pain in the ass, I wouldn’t have signed him to begin with. And as the captain of the defense, I apologize to you for putting your guys in that position.”
Stunned, I know I must have looked like a fish out of water. I had no idea what to say to him, so I thanked him.
“That means a lot, Greer. I appreciate it more than you know.”
He stood and extended his hand across his desk to shake mine. “Let me know if there’s any blowback from Turner. Good thing Jesse’s team was here at the time.”
“Yeah, it was. You looking to hire them?”
Greer smiled. “Yeah, I am. Jesse’s going to hire a few more men before I decide what to do.”
He didn’t elaborate, and I wanted to get the fuck out of there. “I’m going to go check in with Simon if we’re finished here.”
“That’s a good idea. Try to enjoy some of your vacation.”
I gave him a smile I didn’t feel and waved as I walked out the door.
CHAPTER 3
COLE
Phoenix was a beautiful city, but I was struggling to find any beauty in anything without Patrick. My heart ached every time I sang a song I’d written about him. And there were a lot of them. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to perform if I let myself think about him. Not to mention the times I thought I’d seen him in the back of the venue when I was offstage while Adam and Liam were performing.
It was good to catch up with Ben and Alejandro in San Diego two weeks ago. I wanted to ask if they’d seen Patrick, but I didn’t. We never knew who could be listening, and I wouldn’t out him like that.
It was obvious they were together by the way they looked at each other. And that made me miss Patrick even more.
Adam and Michael tried to distract me, but at the end of the day, all I wanted to do was go back to my room and talk to him. There were many nights along the way that I’d stared at my phone or gone back and read our message thread or looked at the pictures of us.
This time apart was supposed to help me figure out what I wanted. I had to decide if I wanted a secret life with Patrick, where everyone thought we were just best friends, or if I could live without him. Right now, I was miserable.
As if he knew I’d been thinking about him, a text appeared on my phone.
