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I take a deep breath, steeling myself for what comes next.
“Emmy, do you remember when we were back in high school?”
She starts to laugh. “What kind of question is that? Of course, I remember. How could I have forgotten four entire years?” She rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, sure, but that’s not what I meant. Do you by chance remember our … marriage pact?”
She hesitates for a moment. I can’t tell if it’s because she can’t remember it, or because she doesn’t want to talk about it.
“Oh, yeah, that thing … I do remember that. What did we say? That if neither of us gets married by the time we’re thirty, we should get together, right?”
“Yes, that’s correct. So, now that I’m about to be thirty, have you thought about it?” I ask her.
Emmy gazes at me, her expression unreadable for a moment. I can see the wheels turning in her head, her eyes searching mine as if looking for something buried deep within them. “Evan, that was just a silly pact we made when we were teenagers.” She begins slowly, choosing her words carefully. “I never thought we would actually take it seriously.”
I nod, trying to hide the disappointment that’s creeping in.
“What if we did take it seriously, now?” I press on, my heart hammering in my chest.
“Well, what would be the point of that?”
“To be married,” I say sarcastically, and she starts laughing. “Come on, Dolly, you know what I mean. Have you ever thought about the idea of us getting married?”
She stares at me, obviously confused. “Where is this even coming from? I mean, I get that you’re turning thirty this year but … Do you think that you’re no longer young or something? Or that you should’ve gotten married by now, and that you somehow missed your chance? Because that’s just ridiculous. You’re a successful doctor. You’re rich, charismatic, charming. And one of the most handsome men I’ve ever seen in real life. Oh, except for James Lafferty, I saw him once at that Starbucks, and let me tell you. He was—”
“I don’t need the details, Emmy,” I interject.
“Oh, okay! Sorry.” She laughs. “Yeah, so, anyway. I don’t understand where this is coming from. You could have any woman you want. The point of the marriage pact was only so that, should neither of us be married, we marry each other.”
“But … neither of us are married,” I reply. “Unless you’re secretly married to James Lafferty. In which case, someone should call his wife, because—”
“Alright, alright. You’re such a funny guy!” she interrupts me. “My point is, I don’t get why you’d want to marry me when you have so many other options.”
I look at her for a few seconds, unable to say anything.
Because I want you. Because there’s no other woman like you.
That’s what I’d like to say.
But what would be the point of putting myself out there like that? It’s more than obvious that we’re not on the same page.
Maybe I built up this moment in my mind too much, hoping for something that was never meant to be.
“I see. So, you’ve never thought about it? Not even now? Now that I’ve brought it up?” I ask.
“Evan, you’re my best friend. And you’ve been my best friend since middle school. I’ve known you even longer than I’ve known Jo and Larisa. So, no … I guess I haven’t considered it because … well, because I’m scared that a relationship between us would ruin everything.”
“How would it ruin everything?”
Emmy looks down at her hands, fidgeting with the edge of her napkin. Her voice is barely a whisper when she finally speaks. “Well, I don’t know. What if it doesn’t work out? What if we don’t get along? We break up, and then we never speak to each other again? My heart would be ripped out of my chest if I lost you, Evan. Aren’t you afraid of that as well?”
Her words hang heavy in the air between us. I reach across the table and gently grasp her hand, offering what comfort I can in this moment of vulnerability.
“I understand your concerns, and I value our friendship more than anything in this world. But what if taking that chance, risking everything we have now, could lead us to something even more beautiful? Something deeper and more meaningful than what we share already?”
She freezes.
I hold my breath, waiting for her response, the silence stretching on for what feels like an eternity.
