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Finally, she meets my gaze, her eyes with a little less sparkle than before. “There’s way too much to lose, Evan. It’s not worth the risk.”
My heart drops, heavy with disappointment. But as I search for the right words to express the depth of my feelings, the waiter arrives with our breakfast, breaking the intense moment between us. Emmy quickly withdraws her hand, a flush of pink tinting her cheeks as she focuses on her plate.
We eat in silence for a while, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily over us.
With every moment that passes, the opportunity slips further away, like sand through my fingers.
But what if it did work out?
Chapter Four
Emmy
My relationships have never worked out…
Why does he suddenly think a relationship—no, a marriage—between us would end up any differently?
This morning is hot and stifling, and my mind is going into overdrive—the conversation I had with Evan a few days ago is still rolling around in my head. I keep turning his words this way and that, trying to figure out what he meant. But no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to figure it out.
But I don’t even want to entertain the thought of dating Evan, because that would mean losing Evan. And I can’t lose Evan. I’ve already lost my two best girlfriends. Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic—they’re still here, they’re just too busy for little ol’ me.
And quite frankly, Evan’s the only person keeping me afloat right now. He’s my lifeline. My calm in the storm. He’s the one person that helps me feel less … alone.
Is our friendship not enough for him?
“What are you thinking about? You look like your head is gonna explode.” Carol laughs, interrupting my thoughts. She just finished helping a customer pick out a perfume, and now she smells like a combination of every flower known to mankind.
I wave my hand in front of my face, trying to disperse the heavy fumes a little, but it doesn’t help.
“I just had a few rough days,” I reply, realizing that I don’t necessarily want to talk about Evan with Carol.
“If you want to talk, I’m right here,” she says. “Well, assuming this cloud of perfume doesn’t choke us both.”
“Thanks. My friends should be here any moment now. I’ve been waiting for them,” I reply, looking toward the door of the beauty shop for the millionth time this morning.
“Oh really? They’re in a shopping mood at this hour?”
“My friend Larisa is visiting from out of town. She’s getting married, so she wants to pick out some makeup for the wedding. My other friend, Josephine, and I are her bridesmaids, and we’re going to help her,” I explain.
“That sounds like so much fun!” she says.
“I’m honestly just excited to see them. They’ve both been so busy lately. I feel a little … hmm … neglected?” I confess.
“Aww, really?”
“Kind of. I mean, we’ve been besties since high school. But so much has changed since then, you know? But I guess that’s just how life goes. I don’t blame them or anything like that. I’m super happy for them. Jo has been married to Jacob for a while now, and she’s busy looking after their daughter, Clem. And Larisa got a fancy job in Los Angeles that she travels a lot for. Plus, she has a wedding to plan. But it was only a few years ago that the three of us used to be … you know, just us girls. We met up all the time, had pizza and cheap wine, and talked until morning. It was so much fun. Things aren’t like that anymore.”
“Come on, don’t be sad,” Carol says, reaching out to pat me on the shoulder.
“I’m not sad, per se. I guess I’m just feeling nostalgic. I get that life moves on and that things change, and they’re both living out their dreams. So I really am happy for them.” I shrug. “And on the plus side, it has brought me a lot closer to Evan. We’ve spent so much more time together lately—just him and I.”
“There you go! Every cloud has a silver lining!” Carol smiles.
“I guess…”
She looks at me as if she’s trying to read my mind, something I don’t particularly enjoy. “Could it be that you’re also a little sad because your two best friends are now in different stages of their lives and … you’re not?” Carol asks me.
“What does that mean?”
