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Chapter 12
Slade
I was always goingto feel a twinge of jealousy when I saw Blake and Merry together, simply because I knew how alike they were. Even if they didn't see it.
The truth was, though, when I pushed past the shards of hurt and jealousy, all I could be was thankful. I loved watching the way Blake connected with her. He got through to her in a way that I would never be able to, and I loved that because she brought out a side of him nobody else could. I even liked to think that I had a part in that.
I was the nurturer. The caretaker. I had caught on at an early age that the best way to lick my own wounds was by taking care of other people's. And I had done that for each and every soul who had graced the door of Second Chance Ranch since the day I arrived—including Blake. It wasn't tooting my own horn to say that Blake was who he was because I was who I was. It was just a fact I had taken him under my wing as a little brother and hadn't given him a choice in the matter, no matter how much he lashed out or how hard he tried to push me away. And he had learned to do the same for Merry. I was proud of that.
Still, it pained me to see them looking so cozy, especially after Merry's distance toward me this morning. And what was Merry doing out here, anyway? Her whole plan for the day had been helping Nan with cookies. It wasn't even time for Nan's soaps yet.
I saw Blake point across the training arena and followed his direction. It all made sense. Abigail, Merry's horse; I had almost forgotten. She hadn't said anything or even so much as feigned an interest in the horses since she had been here. Now, I realized she was just doing what she did best. Trying to protect herself.
Merry had been a natural at equine therapy. She was great with both the horses and the children. But no matter how many times I told her, she had never believed it. If she had, maybe she would have been more inclined to stay. I knew that, in her mind, she had done those kids a favor by leaving. It was easy for her to believe that, when she hadn't seen how gutted they had been after she disappeared. Merry had been, for most of those kids, just another disappointment in a long line of abandonments. But contrary to her belief, it was the only time she had ever let them down.
I'd have loved to see her working with the kids again. She had a knack for knowing just which horse would get through to each kid. It was a gift that Blake and I would never match, no matter how hard we tried. Take, for instance, the small redheaded girl who was currently riding Merry's horse, Abigail, around the ring right now. To any outsider with two licks of knowledge, Sara and Abigail were a perfect match, both sweet and gentle and easily spooked. Two peas in a pod. Too bad they had never connected in any way. Sara remained in her shell as much as the day I had met her. If anything, she had moved backwards in the program, instead of forward.
Watching the two and watching Merry and Blake gave me an idea. I knew Merry wouldn't go along with it, but I didn't plan to give her a choice in the matter. I jogged over to them, tipping my hat at Merry when I reached them and greeting her with my most charming smile.
"Morning, little one. Come out to see Abigail?"
"Nan kicked me out of the kitchen. I had nowhere else to go, really. You know how she is when she gets an idea in her head."
"Indeed I do. And her idea was that you needed to come see the horses?"
"Abigail, mostly. But I'm excited to see them all. I knew you guys were busy. I'll just sit on the bleachers and wait. It's no trouble."
"No, no, they could use a break."
"Sara," I called, motioning for her to trot over to the fence line where I stood with Merry on the other side, watching. "Come on over here for a second."
Immediately, she seemed to shrink into herself, her face a mask of fear as she slowly trotted over. Watching her broke my heart and reminded me of another little girl I had known, not so long ago. I tried not to let my emotions show as I pointedly softened the lines on my face and smiled my most encouraging smile as Sara and Abigail sauntered to a stop beside me.
"Sara, I'd like you to meet my friend, Merry. She used to work here, and Abigail was her special horse."
"Great," Sara deadpanned without looking at any of us. "Can I go now?"
"Young lady," I scolded, keeping my voice lighter than my heart felt. "That was very rude."
"I'm not trying to be rude. I just don't understand why you had to call me over here to meet some lady who used to work here, just because she likes my horse."
Without changing my expression, I stole a glance at Merry, whose hand was still tucked into Blake's for support. She was biting her lip and looking pained. She said nothing.
"What is it, then?" Sara asked, continuing her rant. "Oh, I get it now. It's the horse. Here, take her. She's a stupid horse, anyway. All she wants to do is eat sugar cubes all day and break records for how slow she is."
Before any of us could argue, Sara dismounted Abigail and tossed the reins at me, taking off in a near run for the barn.
I watched as Merry dropped Blake's hand. For a minute, I thought she'd hop the fence that separated her from her beloved horse and take a ride. She leaned over and let her hand linger on Abigail's cheek as a look of peace I had never seen crossed over her features. And then, she took chase toward the barn, while Blake and I looked on in amazement. All I could do was hold my breath and cross my fingers that this didn't turn into a mega disaster that set our plan back even further.
* * *
Merry
Stop. Don't do it. What are you doing? Turn back. You can't help. You'll only make things worse. These are the thoughts that ran through my head on an endless repeat as I chased after a girl I had never met. When I reached the barn entrance, I paused and looked back at Blake and Slade. Their eyes were on me, and their expressions were hopeful. Blake winked at me and sent me a thumbs up. This. It was exactly what he had been talking about in the barn earlier, I realized. Everything in me was screaming not to follow her, to admit defeat now and save us both the hurt that I would cause. And everything in Blake's expression was urging me on. Screaming just as loud, if not louder, that I could do this. That she was just a girl. That I needed to have the kind of faith in myself that they had in me. And that I needed to have faith in Sara. That was the hard part. Having faith in someone I didn't even know from Eve.
I didn't want to do this, I thought, as I pushed open the barn door and tiptoed in. And that was exactly why I had to.
I found her sitting atop a bale of hay, hugging her knees in an empty stall. Her face was a dark scowl, and her eyes were full of unshed tears. She glared when she saw me. "I'm fine. Go away. Go back to your precious, stupid horse. What kind of name for a horse is Abigail, anyway?"
