AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I don’t mind when Henry is with me. He’s the only one who is quiet. He doesn’t push me like Harper and Julian do. Although I can tell when he’s on guard duty, that’s what I’ve been calling it, that he’s on edge. He often paces the room like an animal. When he does sit, his knees bounce as if he’s walking over hot coals.
I hate that I’m causing him pain.
I wonder when he will give up on me and live his life. Will it take three years like it took me when I moved away from him?
***
“Hey, Pumpkin,” Julian says gently, sounding more like a pediatrician handling a child as he enters my room.
I’m not Pumpkin anymore.
His voice is full of hope with undertones of fear. It's a strange mixture, one I think many soldiers must have when they embark on a mission. Julian's taken to my recovery like it's a mission.
For the first time in weeks, I dare to tilt my eyes up. Maybe my resolve is breaking. Maybe I finally want to scream.
I wish I didn't. He looks... older, tired, and stressed. The shadow on his jaw is thick, and the circles under his eyes beg for sleep and a good eye cream to help conceal them. And for the first time, I see a few grays at his temples.
I’m doing this to him.
I close my eyes, hang my head, and for the first time since I begged Andrew not to kill Henry, I speak.
Well, I try to because when my lips part and my tongue roll, it feels like I’m trying to excavate some old artifact out of the sands of time.“Just go,” I swallow. It feels grainy and harsh.“Move on.”
He stills, his wide, muscular chest quickens with an inhale, and then he’s moving, rushing to my side like some grandiose miracle just happened.
He kneels in front of me, eyes watering.“Pumpkin,” he gasps with such joy he could be auditioning to sing in Heaven's choir.
He cups my face.
I freeze under his touch.
His fingers slip an inch, and he's about to perform the polite gesture and release me, but then he gently presses his fingertips into my hollowed face.“I love you,” he says.
I love you, too; that’s why I want you to move on.
If you truly love someone, you don’t hurt them. Being with Andrew’s ghost and me will hurt him.
“I want…” That’s it. Grow your vocal cords again.“You all should leave me alone.”
It’s not what he wanted to hear.
His jaw clenches, and his hands slip to my lap, where they grasp my hands in his.
“I just want to be alone.” I press again. I find a spot on the wall and look at it so I can avoid his face.
“No, you don’t,” he reacts. Slowly, he weaves his fingers between mine. It’s easy because mine are lifeless.“That’s what Andrew wanted for you, to be alone with him. After all this, you’re going to give him what he wants? To let him take you from me?” He questions, and the anger in his voice is like the flame of a candle flickering to life. There it is, burning bright and steady, releasing its aroma that is trying to seduce me.
“I’m tired,” I confess.
“Bullshit. You have enough energy to fight us all. Push us away,” he shakes my hands as if it will spark them to life.“You stayed silent for weeks; that takes energy.”
“Or exhaustion.” I roll my eyes.
“Or determination,” he retorts.“That’s energy, and I’m going to help you refocus it.”
My eyes narrow.
He lets go of my hands, stands, and grabs a chair, then plops it down next to my bed.“I’m going to invade your mind.”
