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The sound of laughter filled the air as Killian, Maverick, and Blake walked into the kitchen. Killian shoved his drummer playfully before he turned to stare at us sitting at the table.
“Wow, why do you all look so serious?”
“Where’s Dean?” Helena asked.
“With Beau,” Blake answered as he stepped closer to me. “You all right?”
I nodded. “Sure, never better.”
Maverick immediately climbed up into my brother’s lap. “Mouth, please.” He beamed happily up at Jackson who didn’t hesitate to kiss him. Killian was already swooping in to do the same with Matty.
“Gretzky.” Blake’s voice was low in my ear. “Hey, what’s going on?”
I climbed to my feet. “I need to talk to you.” I grabbed his hand to drag him outside so we could have some privacy. “You know I love you.”
“Why does this sound like you’re breaking up with me?”
“Trust me, that’s the last thing I’m going to do.”
Blake folded his arms across his chest. “Go on.” He leaned against the house as he waited for me to continue.
“Right, so we’re together now. Everyone knows. What happens when you go on tour? You know I can’t do that. I can’t even go out to lunch or dinner. You’re a fucking rockstar, Blake. People are going to take pictures of you, of us, and see my face. I can’t... I can’t... shit.” I bent over at the waist as I tried to catch my breath.
Blake’s hands rubbed at my back. “Tommy, relax. You don’t have to come on tour with me.”
“I want to. I want to support you, stand there, and see you on stage while everyone sings your songs, cheers your name. I just can’t.” Hot tears burned my eyes.
He wrapped his arms around me. “You don’t have to because we’re not touring anymore. We made that decision today. No more touring for Mulligan.”
“What?” I stood up.
Blake smiled as he touched my face with his fingers. “Kill and Mav absolutely hate it. Their mental health is more important. Killian is having a recording studio built in his home. Dean suggested live streaming, which is brilliant. And I thought, maybe, if you were up to it, we can move to North Carolina. But only when you’re comfortable enough.”
I kissed him. The years of not having Blake in my life again hit me so hard at that moment that the only thing I wanted was to feel his lips on mine. He let out a little laugh when my hands combed through his hair and our tongues slicked together, but he let me take control because he knew I needed it. Blake let me push him back against the house, my knee between his thighs, as I devoured his mouth.
“I love you.” I whispered as I cupped his head in my hands. “Blake, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I thought that I was doing the right thing. You know that, right? That I loved you and just wanted you to go live your life without worrying about your mother. I never should have done it that way. You’re such a fucking rockstar.”
“I’m really not, Tommy.” He smiled at me with softness in his olive-colored eyes. “All I ever wanted was you. To be happy in your arms, in your bed, if it meant giving up everything, you know I would have done that.”
My throat felt tight. “I’m sorry.”
“Gretzky, I forgive you,” he whispered.
I kissed him again. “Do you still think you want to get married, Blake?”
“What?” Blake stared at me with wide eyes.
I laughed nervously. “I mean, not today, but in the future, when I feel better about everything. When I get my shit together. We could be happy, right?”
“Being with you makes me happy.”
“But that’s not a yes.”
He blushed. “It’s a yes. It’s always yes with you, Tommy. You know that.”
***
We were all sitting in Helena’s living room when Dean walked in with Beau. Killian growled like a guard dog until Matthias slapped playfully at his chest. He shook his head, and Killian pouted as Jackson climbed to his feet but not faster than Helena.
