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I tilted my head. “It wasn’t just a hookup for you.”
“It was supposed to be.” Dean dragged his hand over the top of his head before he pulled the elastic out of the bun. “Beau was only supposed to be a way to get off. Nothing more than that. He was fun, an older guy who taught me what it was like to be with a man. We had fun. A lot of fun, and then he ghosted me.”
I leaned against the dresser. “You kept in touch, though.”
“Yeah, we kept in touch. It was his damn idea.” Dean sighed softly. “He said he liked me. Wanted to, I don’t know, get to know me or whatever. Fuck, that sounds like a line I’ve used multiple times. I’m so stupid.”
He looked absolutely defeated. “How long did you talk before Beau stopped responding?” I asked. I was trying to picture him, but I couldn’t. The name was familiar, and I knew he was one of Jackson’s teammates. I would have to Google him.
“Six weeks.” Dean looked up at me. “Is that enough time to fall in love with someone?”
Oh, my heart. “You think that you love him?” No wonder he was so broken up.
“I don’t know, maybe. He made me feel special. I mean, okay, I knew he was busy. I get that. I asked Mav about the schedule, so I know they have roadies and stuff, but he would sometimes go all day without getting back to me. I understand. But it would be like the highlight of my day. He would call me, we would talk, laugh, flirt. It was nice.” Dean blushed. “I guess I was naïve to think that someone like Beau would care about me.”
“Maybe he got scared.”
“Or maybe it was just a way for him to pass the time. I’m not stupid, Blake. I’ve been that guy.” Dean kept pulling on the ends of his hair.
“Have you tried asking him?”
“I’m not going to keep messaging him. He reads them but doesn’t respond. I’m not going to like his shit on social media anymore or follow him if he isn’t going to do the same. That’s just pathetic. Seeing him is going to be hard enough.” He dragged a hand through his green hair. “I just don’t know how to get over him.”
I wasn’t sure if he was prodding me for something or stating a fact.
“I never got over Tommy.”
Dean’s eyes met mine.
“I tried, sure, but I never stopped loving or wanting him. My heart sort of repaired itself as best as it could while I tried to move on. Spoiler alert, I didn’t.”
“You never slept around, though.” Dean sat down on the bed, dropping his head, and his hair fell into his face. “You weren’t the party boy the rest of us were, Blake. You didn’t snort every drug put in front of you like Kill or drink yourself into oblivion like Mav. You’re the—”
“If you say saint, I will punch you,” I grunted.
Dean peeked at me through his green tresses as he chuckled. “It’s not a lie. Everyone knows you’re the nice guy in the band, man. Go with it. There’s nothing wrong with being nice.”
“It’s overrated. I wanted to be like you guys.” I shrugged. “I just couldn’t.”
“Because you’re not like us. You’re pure.”
I rolled my eyes. “Why are we talking about me, Dean? This is about you.” I moved to sit next to him. “If you’re sure you love Beau, really love him, then talk to him this weekend when he shows up. Corner him and force the man to tell you how he feels. If he’s not interested, yeah, it will hurt, but at least you’ll know. Maybe he freaked out because he caught feelings, too.”
“Doubt it.” Dean scoffed.
I nudged his shoulder. “The only way you’re going to find out is if you talk to him. He knows you’re going to be here, too. You’re the best man.”
“I am more than aware that Beau is going to be in my orbit. I feel like... Shit, I feel like he’s already here.” Dean chewed on his lips. It looked like he had been doing a lot of that lately because they were chapped and scabbed over.
I glanced up as I heard footsteps in the hall, and Tommy appeared in the doorway. He smiled at me, and warmth spread through my body.
“Sorry to interrupt.”
“I’m taking up all of your time with Blake.” Dean waved a hand in the air. “I didn’t mean to do that.”
Tommy shook his head as he came in and sat down on the floor. “You look sad, Dean.”
“I am sad,” he admitted.
